#    #    #   #    ###     ###     #    #      ##     ##### 
#    #    ##  #     #     #   #    #    #     #  #      #   
#    #    # # #     #     #        ######    ######     #   
#    #    #  ##     #     #   #    #    #    #    #     #   
 ####     #   #    ###     ###     #    #    #    #     #   
Updates Wednesday/Saturday, 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]
(13:07)Arbiter: Alright, I've managed to gather more information about what Rasputin's done, and it's a bit of a surprise, to say the least. Gods tasked Rasputin with protecting the Satiricheskiy, using his knowledge of the latter's involvement with the Nauticus incident as leverage. I guess he was trying to play you two against each other. I knew this from the start, and it's why I thought you had set yourself up for failure by going to Rasputin for help, but it now seems that for some reason that cyan trickster has decided not to try and appease Gods. He's guaranteed that the attack will be a success of some description.
(13:07)OITHEOI: I know.
(13:08)Arbiter: ?!
(13:08)OITHEOI: I asked him to do it... and I'm surprised that you'd get that one wrong.
(13:08)Arbiter: My source must have gotten confused.
(13:09)OITHEOI: And that's why I'm confused. I'd assumed you'd finagled information out of Rasputin directly, or had an accomplice do it. Since Rasputin doesn't lie, it surprises me that someone who'd spoken to him could misconstrue events so much.
(13:10)Arbiter: I'm not sure what you're implying.
(13:11)OITHEOI: Are you? Or are you trying to get me to react?
(13:12)Arbiter: My source got confused. That's all.
(13:13)OITHEOI: That doesn't speak highly of you.
(13:14)Arbiter: ...
(13:15)Arbiter: I know you take pride in avoiding collateral damage, unlike some of your associates. I too value human life. I think we both want this to go down with as few casualties as possible, correct? The crew of this ship have done nothing wrong, they just ended up caught in Gods' scheme. I want them spared, and I know that Rasputin's plan allows for the confrontation to end in a surrender on the Satiricheskiy's part. Shortly after the attack begins, the ship should surrender. I trust that I don't have to tell you, as a man of honour, that you should make no further efforts to attack the ship after this has taken place. If you want to meet Gods' demands of you (to "expunge" the ship) then you can do so by evacuating the crew, bringing them to shore, and destroying the Satiricheskiy once no one is aboard. No lives need to be lost.
(13:16)Arbiter: And again, I'm sure I don't need to tell you this since you take no pleasure from bloodshed, but attacking the crew of the destroyer beyond what is strictly necessary has the potential to turn Sonja against you, leaving you without an AI. I trust that those aboard the ship are correct to believe that if they surrender, they will all be able to return to land safely? If you give me your word that you won't harm them, I will give you the information I promised you concerning the spy.
(13:16)OITHEOI: I can't make any promises, since Gods may commit forces to force my hand, no pun intended. I'll do as you suggest, provided that it doesn't entail endangering my own forces... which, assuming your other operatives are more competent than your "source", it would be in your interests to ensure.
(13:17)Arbiter: I guess I'll take that.
(13:17)OITHEOI: So...
(13:18)Arbiter: Right.
(13:19)Arbiter: The one who calls himself DuckKingKarl is a spy. He's working for Pancake, and he seems to have developed an AI of his own. Sonja's AI (what's it called, Athena?) has the potential to do great things, and you'll definitely need it now that Eugene's got one too.
(13:19)Arbiter: And on the topic of Sonja, there's one more thing I should probably tell you. I heard a rumour recently that Pancake plans to kidnap her. Supposedly, it involves him and some of his cronies sneaking onto the moon. I think one of them was supposed to disguise themself as an IT engineer or something? I don't know, it's a pretty outlandish-sounding plan, but I figured I ought to tell you about it anyway. It's probably nothing, so I doubt it's worth telling Sonja about, but who knows, it might be worth checking out. It would really suck if you went through all this trouble to keep Sonja on your team (and save lives, of course) only for her to get kidnapped.
(13:21)OITHEOI: Well, you had me for a moment there, but this is where I stop taking you seriously.
(13:22)Arbiter: What?
(13:22)OITHEOI: That Pancake is hiding on the moon is no secret. The rest is vague alarmism and a blatant attempt to sow distrust in my ranks.
(13:22)System: OITHEOI kicks Arbiter from #main-lobby.
connection to net.thoien.secure lost!
[--------]
 
 
[Unichat log --]
/message MrE i'm sure you've figured out by this point that you're in danger. soon the satirical will be attacked. when that happens you must surrender immediately. its the only way to keep yourselves safe. you can't win the battle and if you don't surrender you will be destroyed. if you surrender you will survive. trust me on this. for your daughter's sake. there may be people who might also wish to kidnap you. i've heard talk that the satirical is carrying cargo that some people want and if no such inanimate cargo exists then the cargo is almost certainly yourself. surrendering will keep you alive but it might not protect you from kidnappers. if it is at all possible you might want to try to make arrangements to get off the ship before the attack happens. sooner is better than later. even sending this message to you might have tipped off the kidnappers so stay vigilant. be very careful. but know that if anything happens to you i will do everything in my power to help. that is all i can tell you. get off the ship. make sure the crew surrenders when the attack comes. and be on the lookout. good luck.
System: Incoming private message from user MrE:
(13:22)MrE: Do I know you?
/message reply not yet
System: Incoming private message from user MrE:
(13:23)MrE: Then I'm afraid I'll have to stick to my own plan. Far too much is at stake to let silly matters like personal survival get in the way.
System: Incoming private message from user MrE:
(13:23)MrE: Sorry!
/message reply uhm
System: Incoming private message from user MrE:
(13:24)MrE: Oh, to be young! Destabilizing things right now risks blowing up the universe. I wouldn't want to risk that... I'm far too set in my survivalist ways.
[--------]
 
 
[Unichat log --]
/message GodsOfOlympus endsoftime was generally pretty ordinary. open, friendly, funny. if they were working on anything unusual, they never gave away any sign of that to me.
System: Incoming private message from user GodsOfOlympus:
(12:53)GodsOfOlympus: I'll take that into consideration, but they did violate the ToS.
For what it's worth, he's unbanned now. You'll owe me, and please don't try to reply. He'll see it.
[--------]
Leave a comment
[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Seabiscuit: " Destabilizing things right now risks blowing up the universe."


Wut

WUT? edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Cruelest mapmaker edit delete reply
Arbiter: Well, neither of them really listened to me. Bull-headed chess masters...
I guess I've affected the plot as much as I'm allowed to. That's cool, I respect that. I tried, right?

/join #vague-omnipresent-council (do I need to do that since I've already left messages in that channel, or is that an "every time you leave a message" thing?)
Well, I think I've done everything I can on the whole "trying to save MrE" front.
It... didn't go as great as everything else I do.
http://unichat-comic.com/comics/ (everything except the Sans and Gods bit)
(judge-of-character is me using an alt account, by the way. Really winning the colour assignment lottery.)
(Also that conversation with Theo happened in his private server so congratulations on getting to witness the D~I~V~I~N~E S~E~C~R~E~T~S contained within Theo's exclusive cool kids' club.)
So, unless you guys have any means of ensuring Theo's troops don't suffer too many casualties, I don't think there's any more we can do to help MrE.
Because MrE doesn't want to be saved, and Theo doesn't want to be not a dick.
So, yeah. All this trying to do something actually productive has really drained me. I think I'm gonna go cheer on my best friend DOGFOODLID again.
Sorry, DeepDark. That's about as concerted as my efforts can get.
...Wait.
Hey, Xeno, did you have an actual timestamp next to your name back there? Are you in our timeline now? edit delete reply
Arbiter: P.S. Also, welcome back endsoftime! edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: You GOTTA pm Theo "I told ya so" if they do manage to kidnap Sonja! edit delete reply
Arbiter: Oh, I was definitely going to do that. With a few extra words sprinkled in. edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: In a call, with Xeno, he's like:

"I wonder how many of those words will be in square brackets and censored?" edit delete reply
Arbiter: A better question might be, how many won't be? edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Not at all. Theo just has reasons for trusting Karl... and there may be opportunities there, if you can learn more about why, hint hint nudge nudge. edit delete reply
Arbiter: That sounds like a good idea, but I think I'll leave that to someone else. I've put myself in the comic so much lately that I see lime-coloured afterimages every time I blink after reading it. edit delete reply
Dellis: That was a good job, Arbiter. Even if Theo didn't listen, he DID get the information we need him to know, and agree to try to spare the crew. At least on some level, he trusts what you said about the perils this attack entails, and this is everything we needed. He does not trust you when you say that Karl's a spy? His loss. For the moment, if there's conflict between them it's just to our advantage: both of them are pretty shady.

Plus, we now know Karl is technically working for him. How to gain more insight on their relationship, though, I wonder... edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: What a tangled web we weave... edit delete reply
Arbiter: @Dellis Aw, you always know what to say, buddy!
For real though, despite how pissed off I may have sounded in my last few posts, I'm not actually upset. Arbiter has become a persona, and most of the stuff I say in-comic is me speaking in-character as him. He's a lot more dramatic than I am IRL. I figured it would be funny to play up how much Theo ticks Arby off, so that's what I did. I think Unichat is a great story, and I'm happy to be along for the ride no matter how it goes. In-story Arbiter may feel really bitter right now, but real-life Arbiter is still having a great time! edit delete reply
Dellis: Ah, I didn't see the /join command so I assumed it was out of character XD

Gotta keep the troop morale up u.u edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: "That Karl guy, he's a double agent, but is he more leaning towards Theo?"


"Tilde" edit delete reply
Dellis: On a side note, is the grey chat which implies unbanning endsoftime the rogue administrator who has been feeding us the hidden wikis?

Woohee!! Thanks man! You're the best! Finally a voice for justice and truth we can count on (though not contact, I guess) <3 edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Aaaaaaand a happy one year anniversary to Unichat!! Yaaaaaay~ edit delete reply
Dellis: *firecrackers going off* WEEE!!! We need BIRTHDAY CAKES! Champagne! Cheers! edit delete reply
[--------]
 
Unichat © Patrick Coffman | Hosted on ComicFury