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[Unichat log --]
Hey, chatrats. I've invested considerable time and resources recovering this document. I didn't have time to bypass the security, so you'll need to do some digging for the authcodes.
[Unichat log --]

Unichat wiki :: The Conspiracy of Light

Accessed 20 Apr 2104

The Conspiracy of Light was an organization of shatterpoints in the late Etamnanki Era, created in opposition to Admiral Pancake's "silent conspiracy" but quickly expanding to oppose the other "chess club" members and Unichat administration. Though small in number, they were instrumental in bringing about the end of the world.


The Conspiracy of Light is a textbook example of chronological-pressure-induced nonlinear causality. While the Conspiracy's fouding members do appear in a pristine timeline, they fail to achieve shatterpoint status (though an emerging school of thought states that they instead complete their critical events without contradiction). However, any induction of Etamnanki elements into a timeline inevitably gives rise to some form of the Conspiracy or other.
In the canonical timeline, the Conspiracy began with four members, whose rapid rise to shatterpoint status attracted the interest of various parties of cosmic significance. All four were of college age; three were distributed across the continental United States, with the fourth located on the International Lunar Station. Later members exhibited broader geographic range.
It is unclear to current science whether their shatterpoint status was a direct result of chronological pressure, or if they instead were of interest for initially mundane reasons and acquired it as a result of that interest some number of iterations later. Nonetheless, their associated critical events mandated the end of the world happen early, in a fashion consistent with known extra-reprocess received unhandled hangup signal (SIGHUP)
[Unichat log --]
GodsOfOlympus: ATTENTION! Unlicensed possession of this file is a violation of the Unichat Terms of Service, Section 7-Bravo. Any persons found in possession of it are subject to any and all penalties set forth in the Terms of Service and the Unichat Charter. If you have received a copy of this file, purge it immediately. The administrator responsible shall be located and dealt with.
[Unichat log --]
How scary.
Leave a comment
[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): Something something audience involvement something something ARG.
Seabiscuit: Woah, world building ho!
And, holy fuck, dude, you are a code wizard, holy shiiiit! And and... Woah. "How scary" indeed- I can't wait to meet the admin! edit delete reply
Turquoise: Authcodes? Is this actually a special secret we can unlock or are we gonna find out eventually.
Also yeah, figured this was "master timeline" stuff. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Authcodes will become available in time, but, as the rogue administrator said, you'll need to do some digging. edit delete reply
xianyu118: No one cares, GOO, worldbuilding's more important than yer laws edit delete reply
SansFinalGuardian: Right. This is now the official password-guessing thread. Let's see...

b o o b s
horse trident
larn 2 pwnz time
cd ~/exploit
./keygen.sh --target=moon --level=2 >/dev/unichat_terminal
Добрый вечер
Будете ли вы освободить моего мужа
Very Little Gravitas
Very Little gravitas
Very little Gravitas
Very little gravitas
very Little Gravitas
very Little gravitas
very little Gravitas
very little Gravitas
Very Little Gravitas Indeed
Very Little Gravitas indeed
Very Little gravitas Indeed
Very little Gravitas Indeed
Very little Gravitas indeed
Very little gravitas Indeed
Very little gravitas indeed
very Little Gravitas Indeed
very Little Gravitas indeed
very Little gravitas Indeed
very Little gravitas indeed
very little Gravitas indeed
very little gravitas Indeed

Edit: oops. Did these all on shatterpoints only xD edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: MAX_TOPIC_STACK_DEPTH and axis-of-the-elite are tied for closest. THERE ARE NO EXCUSES! and larn 2 pwnz time are tied for second place. edit delete reply
Arbiter: I can confirm 'Arbiter_is_the_best' is not a valid authcode. I know that was going to be everybody's first guess, so I'd like to think I've saved you all quite a bit of time. :) edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Roughly as close as MAX_TOPIC_STACK_DEPTH. edit delete reply
Arbiter: Other guesses that didn't work:
its_a_shade_of_purple edit delete reply
KittenLicks: Anyone notice how all of the close ones were 4 words, with a single character inbetween (underscore, dash or space)? :3 edit delete reply
KittenLicks: Follow up question: Is the answer case sensitive? edit delete reply
KittenLicks: Oh, and a thing I noticed. Official profiles seem to mess up the profile thing.

Example: http://unichat-comic.com/profile?user=CmdrCordovaOfficial

And your comment at the internet explorer code made me smile. :) edit delete reply
Arbiter: I did notice that pattern with the "close" authcodes. 'MAX_TOPIC_STACK_DEPTH' is closer than 'larn 2 pwnz time' though, so I don't think the authcode uses spaces. Interestingly, 'MAX_TOPIC_STACK_DEPTH' and 'axis-of-the-elite' are equally close, which suggests that the true code contains both underscores and hyphens between words or that it contains neither underscores nor hyphens, but both of those are closer than spaces (for instance, maybe it uses CamelCase, so underscores and hyphens, while wrong, are on the right track because they don't split the words fully.) The other thing was, while all "close" authcodes contain four words, Xeno has not yet responded to any comments which contained suggestions which were longer than four words, so for all we know, the true authcode could be longer than four words. By typing in suggestions like 'SonjaOfTheMoon' (CamelCase) and 'Are_the_shoes_made_of_blood' (more than four words), I was trying to explore these possibilities. edit delete reply
Arbiter: !!! But hold on! I just realized something! What if I've been thinking about this all wrong? Clearly the authcode doesn't separate words with spaces, and clearly it doesn't rely entirely on underscores or hyphens, either. I immediately assumed that meant CamelCase, but think about it: what's kind of like both a hyphen and an underscore, and also happens to be Xeno's favourite symbol?
I have two more attempted guesses to add to the list: 'I'M~ONTO~YOU~XENO' and 'IM~ONTO~YOU~XENO'. edit delete reply
KittenLicks: Now that a code is out, I can confirm that it is indeed case sensitive. :3 edit delete reply
SansOfTheUnderground: uh. when i tried 'very little gravitas' really, it denied it, but added slashes?? edit delete reply
KittenLicks: "<!-- As unlikely as it may be, if you are a reader of this comic, I advise -->
<!-- you NOT to read this source code any further. It may contain spoilers. -->"
Heh. ^^ edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Sans: Try pressing Ctrl-U. edit delete reply
Arbiter: So, if I'm reading this right, the rogue admin has been operating in 2104, 21 years after the events of the story proper (in 2083.) Does this mean that all of the chatlogs we've been seeing are not happening in present tense, but actually happened twenty years ago and are now being revealed by the admin? In other words, the present is actually in the future to the future, which is actually the past? edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: The rogue admin may be in the future, or they may be pulling documents from the future. If you ask which, I'll tilde at you. edit delete reply
Arbiter: Or maybe, right, Unichat doesn't actually take place in the future at all, right? Like, maybe, see, it takes place in, like, an alternate universe or whatever, where people, like, invented technology and stuff, like, really early, right? So 2083 is actually, like, 2083 BCE, right, and 2104 is, like, actually the past! Know what I mean? edit delete reply
Guest: I'm pretty sure the Christian dating system doesn't predate Christianity. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Woops, that was me... and the intended tone was playful, not snarky. edit delete reply
Arbiter: It was just me being silly. I wasn't trying to be snarky, and I definitely wasn't being sincere. :) edit delete reply
SansFinalGuardian: I pressed ctrl-u... and ctrl-+-u... and eventually cmd-shift-u, since I'm on a Mac. I don't really computer/laptop, so idkhow to 'show the non-editable source code for a HTML website' apart from what I've tried. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Google says it should be Command-Option-U on Safari. edit delete reply

[7:35:17 PM] Seabiscuit: oh hey, in a world where Rasputin wins, what happens to vampire then?~
[7:38:40 PM] Xenocartographer: Idk, weddings? edit delete reply
Dellis: I am positive there are tildes in the code. I know it.

Is Vampire~Should~Join~Teamshatterpoint closer than the others? XD

(Hey, sue me for using words I like since we have little chance of knowing the righe ones right now XD) edit delete reply
Dellis: I had a flash of inspiration and tried guardians~of~the~galaxy, which was both thematically fitting and tilded, AND awesome, but my dreams have been shattered (shatterpointed?).

I am now sad. edit delete reply
Dellis: On a side note, I find it ironic that the link for SIGHUP wikipedia pace returns an ERR_CONNECTION_REFUSED xD edit delete reply
endsoftime: /message GodsOfOlympus I'm blatantly violating the Unichat Terms of Service by accessing this page! What are ya going to do about it? edit delete reply
DeepDark: /message endsoftime careful who you write to, son. Little tidbit: never - trust - anyone.

That includes me. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Ooooooooooooh~ edit delete reply
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