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Updates Wednesday and Saturday at 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]
(14:14)SonjaOfTheMoon: Okay, okay, I've looked over the readings. This is probably a fluke.
(14:14)EntropicPhantom: You think so?
(14:14)SonjaOfTheMoon: Yes. Well, probably. I guess. :/
(14:15)EntropicPhantom: I... uhm.
(14:15)SonjaOfTheMoon: ?
(14:15)EntropicPhantom: I got that feeling again, right at the same time your scanner program went off. I wasn't doing anything particularly important, which is a first - just reading up on Asphodel metagame predictions. I don't want to put too much stock in a feeling, but...
(14:16)pwnz0rz: thb
(14:16)pwnz0rz: tbh*
(14:16)SonjaOfTheMoon: That's... interesting, but I'd rather keep an eye on it and see if it happens again. I mean, I wrote this program on a whim, motivated by not much more than a feeling myself.
(14:16)pwnz0rz: id rather not dael w cthulthlu quontu mmind hax rn
(14:16)pwnz0rz: liek dont get me wrong
(14:16)SonjaOfTheMoon: And like you said, putting too much faith in those is the road to pseudoscience.
(14:16)pwnz0rz: whe're gong to pwnz asphloldel b/c wer amaizng and sexy
(14:16)SonjaOfTheMoon: Also, what Luke said. With less tyops.
(14:17)pwnz0rz: but man, our firts pro tournement together? im msotly aniexty and caffeine
(14:17)SonjaOfTheMoon: typos* Gods, Luke, you're rubbing off on me.
(14:17)pwnz0rz: omg
(14:17)pwnz0rz: when itcomes too people u dont want to emuate im probably in the top seven
(14:17)pwnz0rz: imnot hiltler or turmp but im rude and dumb and cant type
(14:17)EntropicPhantom: You okay there?
(14:17)pwnz0rz: im just emo b/c breakup, dont worry
(14:17)pwnz0rz: as ur friend i promise ill get over it
/message pwnz0rz Yeah, about that - is playing together going to be a problem for you two?
(14:18)SonjaOfTheMoon: Gods, it's three days, right? I can't shake this stupid fear that it's sooner.
System: Incoming private message from user pwnz0rz:
(14:18)pwnz0rz: dw
System: Incoming private message from user pwnz0rz:
(14:18)pwnz0rz: things is a little awkward but she stilllikes 2 eat lunch w me and stuff
(14:18)EntropicPhantom: Three days, yeah.
System: Incoming private message from user pwnz0rz:
(14:19)pwnz0rz: as longas we dont tlak about dating stuff well be fine
(14:19)SonjaOfTheMoon: Right, three days to get ready. Is meta around?
[Unichat log --]
(14:12)ThatOneVampChick: Let me make sure I'm following this. Gods wants you to mess with Theo near India? Tell me you've though about what that looks like...
(14:13)__RSPTN__: Well, it looks like there's something going on in India again. I'm honestly not sure whose plans that plays into, but I think going along with it might help find out.
(14:14)ThatOneVampChick: I guess that's your risk to take. Don't think I'm not going to capitalize it if it goes south.
(14:14)__RSPTN__: Well, I'm north of India right now anyway. Speaking of which, we're still on for Crimea. I'm perfectly capable of multitasking :)
(14:14)ThatOneVampChick: :)
(14:15)ThatOneVampChick: So when's Theo supposed to attack?
(14:15)__RSPTN__: Gods thinks three days, and I haven't known him to be wrong before.
(14:15)ThatOneVampChick: So that's why you want my air force.
(14:15)__RSPTN__: Yeah, it'd be a stretch for mine.
(14:16)ThatOneVampChick: Well, I'm in a friendly sort of mood. :) Go ahead!
(14:16)__RSPTN__: Aww, thanks!
System: Incoming private message from user Dellis:
(14:16)Dellis: Please marry me, I've loved you all my life. You and your waffles
(14:16)ThatOneVampChick: Ugh, hang on.
/message reply No.
/block Dellis
(14:17)__RSPTN__: ?
(14:17)ThatOneVampChick: Just blocking a creepy spambot. Right, three days, huh? I'll go rally the troops... both here and Crimea. ;)
(14:17)__RSPTN__: TY!
[Unichat log --]
(14:32)System: User bobtheconspirator is now ACTIVE.
(14:32)bobtheconspirator: so... you would not believe what just happened
(14:32)bobtheconspirator: i was lurking at this coffeeshop, right? like i do
(14:32)bobtheconspirator: when this weirdo in a friggin SUIT and nerd glasses asks me about our conspiracy!
(14:32)bobtheconspirator: like wtf
(14:33)billygoatconspirator: Enemy agent, possible ally, or both?
(14:33)bobtheconspirator: both i think, but we're so close i didn't want to risk destabilizing things
(14:33)bobtheconspirator: i sent him off on a wild goose chase :)
(14:34)billygoatconspirator: Good call. We'll make a proper field officer out of you yet!
(14:34)bananaconspirator: AHAHAHAHAHAHA good one :P
(14:34)bobtheconspirator: :(
(14:35)bananaconspirator: J/K
(14:35)bananaconspirator: tell me you scanned him, right?
(14:36)bobtheconspirator: well, i was trying to be discrete... i got what i could
(14:36)billygoatconspirator: Enough to construct a useful proxy?
(14:36)bobtheconspirator: probably
(14:37)bananaconspirator: we'll see, i guess. can you get back to base safely?
(14:37)bobtheconspirator: on my way :)
[Unichat log --]
/query metampsychotic

(14:02)System: Initiating private chat with active user metampsychotic.
(14:02)metampsychotic: omg, hey dad! what's up?
(14:02)MrE: Oh, something you'll appreciate...
(14:03)metampsychotic: you're buying me a pony?
(14:03)MrE: Do you want one?
(14:03)metampsychotic: well, i'd prefer a giant robot :) but a horse is fine too
(14:04)MrE: You do have a birthday coming up...
(14:04)metampsychotic: omg
(14:04)metampsychotic: we don't have anywhere to keep a giant robot...
(14:04)MrE: I wouldn't mind an excuse to renovate the barn...
(14:05)metampsychotic: dad
(14:06)MrE: Ah, Erica...
(14:07)MrE: I'm coming home.
(14:07)metampsychotic: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(14:07)metampsychotic: oh my g-d...
(14:08)metampsychotic: it's not april 1st, is it?
(14:08)MrE: Even if it were, I'd never joke about something like this.
(14:08)MrE: I'll be boarding a warship in three days' time, then transfering to a secret airfield and flying from there. After that...
(14:08)metampsychotic: omg omg om
(14:09)metampsychotic: you'll be safe, right?
(14:09)MrE: Of course. As... distasteful as the man may be, Orlov recognizes the importance of my work. I'll be traveling with a full military escort, though the hope is that keeping my route secret will be defense enough.
(14:11)metampsychotic: you're not puttin yourself in danger telling me this, are you?
(14:11)MrE: This channel is protected, don't worry. No one but us can read it.
(14:11)metampsychotic: well, us and the admins...
(14:11)metampsychotic: but omg! you're coming home!!!!!
(14:12)MrE: I'm coming home.
(14:12)metampsychotic: how- how long? not to seem impatient...
(14:13)MrE: The trip itself should be on the order of 100 hours, depending on the specifics of the route my escorts are finalizing. If everything goes according to plan, I should be embarking in roughly 60 hours.
(14:13)metampsychotic: so three days plus nine days... a little under two weeks?
(14:14)MrE: That's the plan. I'll keep you posted if anything changes.
(14:14)metampsychotic: !!!
(14:15)metampsychotic: remind me what that kind of cake you like is?
(14:15)MrE: Black Forest, though please, don't go out of your way for me.
(14:15)MrE: Seeing you again would be reward enough. :)
(14:16)metampsychotic: hehe
(14:16)metampsychotic: well, maybe i'll bake something because i want to eat it, and make enough to share while i'm at it
(14:16)MrE: I suppose I can't refuse that!
[Unichat log --]
(14:57)bloodshoes: your guy was wierd
(14:57)bloodshoes: and i don't think he liked me asking about the thing you told me to ask about
(14:57)Theodore_Oien: Did he try to recruit you?
(14:57)bloodshoes: no.
(14:58)Theodore_Oien: [censored]!
(14:58)bloodshoes: huh?
(14:59)Theodore_Oien: In my experience, that means they're likely close to whatever they're going to do. When do you start teaching again?
(14:59)bloodshoes: uh
(14:59)bloodshoes: three days... why?
(14:59)Theodore_Oien: Okay. I doubt they'll act quite that quickly. We've got time.
(14:59)bloodshoes: look, what's really going on here? i'm tired of weird people on unihcat telling me what to do
(14:59)bloodshoes: i mean... i owe you, i know, but after last time? this is making me nervous, theo
(14:59)bloodshoes: unichat*
[Unichat log --]
2:07 PM | Pancake_High_Admiral | Report.
2:07 PM | pwnz3r | i cant ****ing do it
2:07 PM | pwnz3r | i cant get the ****ing timelines 2 merge!!!
2:08 PM | Pancake_High_Admiral | That... is unfortunate.
2:08 PM | pwnz3r | no ****
2:08 PM | pwnz3r | i just hope the us in teh other timeline have better luck...
2:08 PM | pwnz3r | imean
2:08 PM | pwnz3r | we still only need to win in 1...
2:09 PM | Pancake_High_Admiral | So you've said...
2:09 PM | Pancake_High_Admiral | It frankly seems too esoteric for my tastes. If another me wins, I won't be able to observe it.
2:09 PM | Pancake_High_Admiral | That hardly sounds like victory to me.
2:10 PM | pwnz3r | uhm
2:10 PM | pwnz3r | igues
2:10 PM | pwnz3r | s
2:10 PM | pwnz3r | wat r u gonna do about it?
2:13 PM | Pancake_High_Admiral | How soon can you have the charges ready?
2:14 PM | pwnz3r | u serious about this?
2:14 PM | Pancake_High_Admiral | Yes.
2:14 PM | pwnz3r | 3 days i think
2:14 PM | pwnz3r | but ur kind of using a aaa gun to kill a fly
2:15 PM | Pancake_High_Admiral | Well, you know how I feel about flies.
Leave a comment
[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): Lots of [censored] going down in three days... and a weird bizarro chat with different syntax and almost-familiar usernames. I wonder what's going on here?
Xenocartographer (Official Note): ...is what I would say if I didn't already know by virtue of being the author, but whatever.
Seabiscuit: Huh, they're still eating lunch together? ... Fix it. Fix it! They're OTP... ;~;
...-SNERK- Ah god Vampire is the best, that block... Omfg... BEST THING.
Bloodshoes confirmed for nerd glasses and suit!! Omg, yes! He's free! Good for Bloodshoes... ;~;.
WOAH WOAH! ALTERNATE PANCAKE! O: And the real third pwnz!! edit delete reply
Dellis: You've won this battle, i concede XD

But even if RasputinXVampire wins, I still claim the title of first Vampire fanclub member~ edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: -snerk- You can always admire her from afar and send fan mail through Rasputin or something~ ;^; edit delete reply
Arbiter: Lol, a Trump joke. You just couldn't resist, could you?
Also, congrats Dellis on making it into the comic! edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Technically, it's a turmp joke. And I'm not sure if "congrats" is the right word here. edit delete reply
Dellis: Well, I didn't expect a "yes, why not". In fact, this is exactly what I was aiming for, a sort of in-joke to look at and laugh when rereading the comic. So, thanks for delivering, as I said in the other comment^^ edit delete reply
SansOfTheUnderground: are we gonna get an exposition dump soon with theo and bloodshoes? edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: bloodshoes' role in the story is to update Theo on Pancake's schemes, to the extent that he's aware of them. Does that answer your question? edit delete reply
Dellis: Shock! She's broken my fragile heart~ it must have been the comment about waffles, I'm sure of it.

On a side note, Xeno, you're awesome, thanks~ edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: :) I'm glad you liked it! edit delete reply
pyndragon: Please don't get dedded, MrE! edit delete reply
eekee: My thoughts exactly! edit delete reply