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Updates Wednesday and Saturday at 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]

System: Incoming private message from user Seabiscuit:

(12:12)Seabiscuit: Hey Rasputin!! Check out what everyone's favorite breakfast douche is up to...

/query Seabiscuit

(12:12)System: Initiating private chat with active user Seabiscuit.


(12:12)Seabiscuit: Woah, douche isn't censored?

(12:14)__RSPTN__: Why would it be?

(12:14)Seabiscuit: Cos swear!

(12:14)__RSPTN__: I suppose they decided the technical use was common enough to let it through. Anyway, I realized something last night.

(12:15)Seabiscuit: ?!

(12:15)__RSPTN__: Strictly speaking, biscuits aren't that unlike pancakes.

(12:15)Seabiscuit: D:

(12:15)Seabiscuit: I'm not of world dominate!

(12:16)__RSPTN__: Oh, neither's Eugene. :P It's just a funny observation, nothing serious. What's up?

(12:16)Seabiscuit: Oh, uhm, dis!

(12:19)__RSPTN__: Iiiiiinteresting. :)

(12:19)__RSPTN__: So the waffle villain has a backup base in Nevada? Well, several, it sounds like.

(12:19)Seabiscuit: Yeah D:

(12:20)Seabiscuit: And it sounds like he's getting everything set up again...

(12:21)__RSPTN__: I've heard a certain space wizard has reason to disapprove of him. Perhaps she should see this information?

(12:22)Seabiscuit: ye

(12:23)__RSPTN__: Would you mind if I were to forward it? I wouldn't mind her coming to see me in a favorable light. And we are, after all, on the same side, more or less.

(12:23)Seabiscuit: W- wait

(12:24)Seabiscuit: More or less? D:

(12:24)__RSPTN__: Ah, haven't you heard? Delta asked me to assist in Pancake's attack on Australia. Given that I am hardly one to pass up political capital with mysterious extradimensional forces, I, of course, agreed.

(12:25)Seabiscuit: D:::::::::::::::::::::::::

(12:25)Seabiscuit: C- can you change your mind? D:

(12:26)__RSPTN__: I'm afraid not. Like a shatterpoint, I am always true.

(12:26)Seabiscuit: Omg...

(12:26)__RSPTN__: But they have not requested shatterpoint protection on the attack, so I have not granted it. Given adequate preparation, the attack could be defeated.

(12:27)__RSPTN__: :)

(12:27)Seabiscuit: y- yeah

(12:27)Seabiscuit: that's fair...

(12:28)__RSPTN__: You don't sound convinced.

(12:28)Seabiscuit: You promised to nuke billions of people!

(12:28)__RSPTN__: The population of Australia is scarcely 20 million.

(12:29)Seabiscuit: That doesn't make it any better! D:

(12:29)__RSPTN__: Doesn't it? It makes it, at the very least, just shy of two billion people better.

(12:29)Seabiscuit: Omg

(12:29)Seabiscuit: D:

(12:30)Seabiscuit: Why? D: I thought you were a good guy!

(12:30)__RSPTN__: Aren't I a member of the chess club? Of course I'm going to make sacrifices to advance my plans, my equestrian friend.

(12:30)Seabiscuit: It's after the actual food, gosh

(12:30)Seabiscuit: A- and 20 billion people is a little more than a game of chess, mister!

(12:31)__RSPTN__: Twenty million.

(12:31)__RSPTN__: I've already made my move. What's yours?

(12:33)Seabiscuit: D- don't act so coy! D: You're only doing what Delta tells you! If you went to a chess tournament and listened to someone tell you how to play you'd get kicked out!

(12:33)__RSPTN__: How fortunate this metaphorical tournament has no rules.

[Unichat log --]

(12:36)__RSPTN__: Well, that's that out of the way.

(12:36)ThatOneVampChick: You talked with Arbiter?

(12:36)__RSPTN__: One of his lieutenants, actually, but she should suffice. Let's advance to stage 3.

[Unichat log --]
Leave a comment
[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): The page title isn't that accurate since there's like, four different factions machinating here (gods, that sounds dirty), but I like the sound of it too much not to use it.
Seabiscuit: Oh, this PM came fast, haha~

I laughed a lot at all those :'s... goodness

Haha Arbiter apparently I'm one of your lieutenants -snerk- edit delete reply
GOSH edit delete reply
Arbiter: /join #vague-omnipresent-jury
I'm about to report, so if anyone wants to do a Pancake impression this is a good opportunity.
So, first of all, Rasputin is evil. I didn't think that counted as news, but apparently it does. World-dominating cult leaders are generally not the greatest people, even if they are delightfully snarky and a member of the best authoritarian OTP since Trump and Putin.
It's confirmed. He agreed to Delta's request to help Pancake blow Australia up. He didn't put any shatterpoint protection on it, which is good, but knowing that someone with that much knowledge of how Gaia works is involved still makes me worry about the Anarchon ploy.
In other unsurprising news, everyone who's anyone has at least a passing knowledge of who we are. MrE knows, General "Ambidex" TheButcher knows, Pancake's starting to set up countermeasures against us and apparently Rasputin and Vampire have some sort of plan involving us underway. Or so the little tidbit of chatlog that Her Supreme Burgundiness so graciously shared with us would suggest.
I suppose it was inevitable that everyone would catch on sooner or later, especially since I've got about as much subtlety as my uncle Cletus has teeth, but I had hoped they wouldn't have been able to deal with it so quickly. The beans aren't just spilled at this point, the beanstalk's already up at the giant's house and he's getting his climbing gear on so he can fee-fi-fo-fuck us up.
Also, everyone seems convinced that I'm the leader of this group because I rebelled first and I'm super not into that because a. fuck leaders in general and b. I have about as much leadership ability as my uncle Cletus has baths per year.
(But, like, if I am the leader then Seabiscuit totally is my lieutenant because I think that'll piss Xeno off the most.)
Anyway, I've reached out to EP. I want to share some of my concerns about the Rasputin situation with him and hopefully keep Sonja from seeing him in too much of a favourable light. Do you guys have any advice?
/message Seabiscuit By the way, it probably didn't come across in my message but I actually am sorry that Rasputin didn't turn out to be the person you thought he was. You must feel pretty betrayed.
/message Seabiscuit You've probably had to deal with that feeling of betrayal more than the rest of us, and it must be very difficult. I want you to know that I sympathize.
/message Seabiscuit I'm really not good at these "positive, supportive friend" interactions. Or any interactions that don't involve finding new and creative ways to tell people to go fuck themselves.
/message Seabiscuit But I want you to know I'm happy we've got you on the team. And not just because it bugs Xeno.
(By the way, Xeno, are we ever going to get a reveal about what exactly Theo told Arbiter when he tried to get his help? That could also be relevant here.) edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: -snerk-
A treasure as always Arby~~ I laughed so many times during this :'D

Also, d'awww that PM ;~~;

/message Arbiter Aww, thank you! B-but... I think there's way more going on here than meets the eye- I don't think he's a true villain, despite some of his... less savory moves
/message Arbiter What if Australia is doomed no matter what, and Rasputins moves here are for something important in the long run?


I had some thoughts on Rasputin but I kinda lost track of some of 'em...
I think it's clear that, at least, he does oppose Pancake- Right?
So why is he helping Delta explode Australia, isn't that what Pancake wants? Doesn't that help him?
But yet he's not totally committed to this, he didn't give shatter point protection, and doesn't really care if we or the kids stop him.
Just for funsies?

I looked back and tried to figure it out when Delta told Rasputin to blow shit up, Rasputin got kinda serious and agreed to do it after Delta gave this line-

"Not if you want this universe's death to mean anything..."

So I'm wondering if just, Rasputin feels like the universe is doomed (Gaia blah bnlahblah explode; in page 150 Rasputin already sounded sure things were doneskies) so Australia doesn't really matter
Orrrrr more likely
Him interfering, whether he succeeds or not, has some kind of effect on Pancakes attempts at a merge?
Maybe it's the attempt alone that'll fuck things up, since he doesn't seem to be going all in

Do the ends justify the means, I guess?

/message __RSPTN__ U-uhm, can I just ask, one thing? Does your move here... Help stop Pancake in the long run?

(Gosh I hope asking that doesn't mess up his plans if his plans depend on us going all out to stop them both)
(Oh, semi-relatedly, did Rasputin actually forward the log to Sonja or did he just leave that weird vague message like a troll?) edit delete reply
Arbiter: /reply Well, for all of our sakes I hope you’re right. Just... don’t get your hopes up, okay? edit delete reply
SansTheComic: i swear some time ago we solemnly resolved not to message in such vast quantities as to make ourselves known. that went well. edit delete reply
Arbiter: Heh. Sorry about that. edit delete reply