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Updates Wednesday and Saturday at 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]

*(10:54)FallenLeaves falls into the chat with a headache.*

(10:54)Arbiter: Hey, FL. How'd it go?

(10:55)Turquoise: You've already seen the log. Unless you haven't. This is confusing.

(10:55)Arbiter: Are you even on our side, Turq?

(10:55)Turquoise: I don't know.

(10:56)FallenLeaves: Not helping!

(10:57)Arbiter: I've seen the log, but I wanted to be polite and give you first dibs on talking about it.

(10:57)FallenLeaves: Alright. It seems like it basically confirms what we already knew, or at least suspected.

(10:58)SansFinalGuardian: if we're time interlopers, why don't our timestamps show up as question marks?

(10:58)Arbiter: Didn't Xeno say something about that somewhere?

(10:58)FallenLeaves: I don't know and I don't really want to ask her.

(10:58)TheDerangedOne: Maybe Delta would know.

(10:59)KittenLicks: Has another kitten fallen down our rabbit-hole?

(11:00)Arbiter: Nah, TDO's been PMing me for a while. They've got a hunch about the tech level thing.

(11:00)KittenLicks: Delta, Delta, Delta, what are you up to? Purrsuading Rasputin to attack Australia?

(11:01)FallenLeaves: After MrE's non-answer I'm inclined to say go for it.

(11:02)TheDerangedOne: I think I'm ready (don't screw this up, don't screw this up)

(11:05)Arbiter: Are you waiting for me to tell you to do it?

(11:06)TheDerangedOne: Yeah

(11:06)Arbiter: Guys, my leadership credentials don't extend much beyond rambling about Hot Fuzz and typing in purple.

(11:07)SansFinalGuardian: and cussing out xeno

(11:07)Arbiter: Any of us could have done that!

(11:07)SansFinalGuardian: but you actually did

(11:08)Arbiter: uhm

(11:08)Arbiter: Well, what have we got to lose? It's not like anyone's going to blow up a continent/planet!

[Unichat log --]

(11:26)System: User TheDerangedOne is initiating a private chat.


(11:26)TheDerangedOne: Fuck being subtle time to make waves.

(11:26)SonjaOfTheMoon: I'm in the middle of a strategy meeting, make it quick.

(11:26)TheDerangedOne: *cough*ahem*cough *deep breath*

(11:26)SonjaOfTheMoon: ...

(11:28)TheDerangedOne: You kids got smartphones but you don't have any actual graphics capacity on your computers? I smell bull[censored]. Ever heard of a game series called Doom? (or Hexen, or singular games such as Shadow Warrior, Blood, And Duke Nukem 3D) go here: https://www.doomworld.com/idgames/idstuff/doom/doom19s

(11:28)SonjaOfTheMoon: I'm getting DNS errors. What's this about?

(11:32)TheDerangedOne: Lol well you're technology is really far behind even the 90s

(11:32)TheDerangedOne: Doesn't that seem weird to you

(11:33)SonjaOfTheMoon: A lot of important infrastructure got nuked.

(11:34)TheDerangedOne: Lol but you've had decades to rebuild

(11:34)TheDerangedOne: You can't tell me it takes that long to build a computer game

(11:35)SonjaOfTheMoon: ...all the factories got nuked. And much of the supply chain responsible for raw materials (and good riddance, too).

(11:37)TheDerangedOne: It doesn't take that long to figure out how to do graphics

(11:37)SonjaOfTheMoon: *shrug*

(11:37)SonjaOfTheMoon: Economic incentives have changed since then.

(11:38)TheDerangedOne: Bull[censored]

(11:38)SonjaOfTheMoon: Look, is this going somewhere? Felicity's giving me dirty looks texting right now.

[Unichat log --]

/message EntropicPhantom Does it ever seem weird how slowly technology's been rebuilt?

System: Incoming private message from user EntropicPhantom:

(11:41)EntropicPhantom: Not really? All the old stuff got nuked, and besides, the role of computers have changed since then.

/message reply How?

System: Incoming private message from user EntropicPhantom:

(11:42)EntropicPhantom: The real money's in computational physics, like what Sonja did on the Griddle.

System: Incoming private message from user Xenocartographer:

(11:43)Xenocartographer: You're PMing the wrong people.

System: Incoming private message from user EntropicPhantom:

(11:43)EntropicPhantom: Except, uh, a thousand times less impressive.

/message Xenocartographer What's that supposed to mean?

System: Incoming private message from user Xenocartographer:

(11:44)Xenocartographer: Cryptic vagueness, of course.

/message reply Lol of course

[Unichat log --]
[Unichat log --]
[Unichat log --]

(11:55)TheDerangedOne: Well that went [censored] great.

(11:56)Arbiter: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

(11:57)Arbiter: This is starting to bother me too, now. Sonja and Alex should be smarter than that...

(11:58)KittenLicks: Purrhaps we're PMing the wrong people?

(12:00)SansTheComic: no, i don't think so.

(12:00)SansTheComic: it honestly feels like no one in this [censored] timeline realizes anything's weird about this.

(12:01)SansTheComic: and that scares me.

(12:02)Turquoise: If no one knows anything, why would Xeno tell us to PM other people?

Leave a comment
[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): The return of DOGFOODLID! For... absolutely no reason.

Also, this is one of the most important PMs in the series, believe it or not.
SansTheComic: ???
/emote thonking
alright, i'm confused. let's work through this. possibilities:
1. Gods has a monopoly on tech things (iirc?) and he's deliberately slowing everything down in order to keep it.
2. Gaia/Etamnanki/space whale bs idek is screwing with ppl's brains, for some reason.
3. this is a timeline thingy; maybe all the timelines that get good tech get retgoned by someone, or maybe they all just nuked themselves.
4. something else. why is the real money in computational physics? edit delete reply
Xylas_Incarnum: The whole bit of nuked history must've made people forget how damn addicting DOOM is/was. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: I don't know if you have enough context to solve this one quite yet, but you're on the right track! Let me ask you something, though: are any of these options compatible with each other? edit delete reply
SansTheComic: inb4 all of them edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: -snerk- I feel like you and Arbiter might like a forum thread on this topic; you're both kind of hitting on the same things from different directions edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Hmmm-
How about Revvie or Duke, or both?? I feel like one of them surely must know, they're hella smart. Or maybe Karl? edit delete reply
Arbiter: Hey, I just realized, aren’t Revvie and LID friends? Maybe he’ll mention it to her and start a whole investigation! Or maybe he’s smart enough to get to the bottom of it himself, half his Hades Realm team are genius-tier software developers and there’s got to be a reason why he knows them.
Come on Xeno, we all want to see DOGFOODLID get the heroic character arc he so richly deserves. #LIDQUEST2018 edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Haha, we'll see -snerk- edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Also gosh I gotta say I hadn't really thought about the slow tech being actually important to this degree! Cool. I'm guessing something like technology=evil=gaia hates edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: The real plot was hidden by the premise all along edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: "Oh, his name is white now!"
"What? Oh shit"

Xeno will fix TheDerangedOnes color tomorrow~ -snerk- edit delete reply
Arbiter: DOGFOODLID returns! Hell yeah!

So why is technology so shitty now? Maybe it’s because otherwise a purely text-based story would be hard to justify and Xeno would have to hire an artist because Unichat is hooked up directly to Gaia, and the powers that be need this to remain the case or they lose their cool powers. Even 2000s-level technology would make Unichat obsolete, and there go all your cool Cthulhuhax chatmagics. “Oh, what’s that, Dr. Jpeg? You say you’ve created this brilliant new file format that will completely revolutionize computing? I assume Unichat would need to be totally rebuilt in order to support such a thing. Oh, it would? Okay, well come into our super high security corporate office and show it to us, and then we definitely won’t make you disappear forever.”
Why’s all the money in computational physics? Well, if all the computers are attached to Unichat’s networks, and Unichat’s plugged in to Gaia’s horrific tentaclebrain, and Gaia can warp reality, having the best physics simulator basically makes you King Demigod of Space Wizard Castle. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: In the Gundam universe, the titular robots are motivated by the existence of so-called Minovsky particles, which create a highly specific tactical environment in which giant mecha are actually the most viable combat system. In fact, the author came up with Minovsky particles and their peculiar physics specifically so the Gundam suits would make sense. In other words, whether the Minovsky particle causes Gundam suits, or Gundam suits cause Minovsky particles, depends completely on which side of the fourth wall you're on. Now, what have we learned about the fourth wall in this comic? edit delete reply
Arbiter: That it’s in serious disrepair, threatening to collapse entirely, and covered in obscene graffiti drawn by yours truly. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: On the other hand, we've seen characters link images, and even Imgur, so it's fair to say that particular example didn't happen. But the point is valid otherwise. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: As for the last paragraph, perhaps this would make a good forum thread, wonk. edit delete reply
Xylas_Incarnum: For the record, I don't usually use lol as general amusement, I use Heh.... also I'd have used Feh/pheh or bah or something instead of lol when talking about them having decades to rebuild.

Otherwise you got me well enough with all the swearing.

The real weird thing I get from all that is that Doom isn't readily recognizable as a game name. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Noted. I'll amend this page with tomorrow's update. edit delete reply
Xylas_Incarnum: 's just that my general sense of humor's probably dry enough to use as a whetstone and using Lol as a transition makes me cringe....

Oh wow I just noticed that first segment, Yeah any self doubts I have I mutter to myself or keep in my head, mixed up with a bunch of profanities, I don't type those things out that's asking for trouble/things to go wrong. *coughs* just for future notice, anyway. edit delete reply