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Updates Wednesday and Saturday at 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]

/./xenocartographer.sh --status --target=countries/Australia --value=radiation

Australia is: not irradiated

[Unichat log --]

(12:34)EntropicPhantom: Yo, Panny.

(12:34)Admiral Pancake: Here to beg for mercy?

(12:35)EntropicPhantom: Nah. I wanted to gloat, actually.

(12:35)Admiral Pancake: What.

(12:36)EntropicPhantom: Oh, you know, that thing someone does when they're about to win.

(12:37)Admiral Pancake: ...

(12:37)Admiral Pancake: What the devil are you playing at?

(12:38)EntropicPhantom: Two things. One, I know all about your plan to kidnap Gods, and it's playing right into our hands. Two, it turns out, the chat filter's built into the Etamnanki protocols so deep you'd have to refactor half the [censored] server, and you killed one of the people with enough @hena experience to do it.

(12:38)Admiral Pancake: Why do you think I give a rat's [censored] about the chat filter?

(12:39)EntropicPhantom: A little rattie told me. :)

(12:41)Admiral Pancake: Look, [censored]er, I don't know how you managed to bypass the block function, but if you have any kind of secret access to my servers, I'd know. Your little charade demeans us both. Gods will be mine. You're not reverse psychologying me.

(12:41)EntropicPhantom: Honestly, it amuses me more than anything. You can be demeaned if you want to, though. Anyway, I've got what I've came for.

[Unichat log --]

(10:13)FelisKitty: Think this code's legit?

(10:14)EntropicPhantom: Honestly, I have no idea. I know Sonja worked with Revvie before... I just don't know what Gods is up to.

(10:15)FelisKitty: He thinks he's going to be kidnapped. I think he's desperate. I would be too, in his position.

(10:16)EntropicPhantom: Unless he's making that up. >_>

(10:17)FelisKitty: ...dammit.

(10:17)FelisKitty: You feel up for poking the breakfast bear?

[Unichat log --]

/./scry.sh --relative=timeline.current --timeline=+1

Viewpoint coordinates updated.

/./xenocartographer.sh --status --target=countries/Australia --value=radiation

Australia is: irradiated

[Unichat log --]

(12:34)EntropicPhantom: Yo, Panny.

(12:35)Admiral Pancake: Here to beg for mercy?

(12:37)EntropicPhantom: I'm here to taunt you. You know that stunt you pulled with Gods last year? It played right into our hands. :)

(12:38)Admiral Pancake: What the blazes are you on about?

(12:40)EntropicPhantom: Oh, it's an open secret you're planning on rebranding Unichat as Panichat. With Gods out of the picture, his old employees proved a lot more willing to hand over internal documentation that's let me stay like, five steps ahead of you.

(12:41)EntropicPhantom: Why do you think it's taken so long to change the chat syntax?

(12:42)Admiral Pancake: ...

(12:42)Admiral Pancake: What do you hope to accomplish here?

(12:45)EntropicPhantom: Two things. I want to taunt you. You'll never get the block function working for you. Gods' engineers have messed up the protocol at the same level as the chat filter (which, by the way, you're never going to remove successfully, either). Two, I want to make you paranoid. I've got all the old identity verification code mucked up, too.

(12:45)EntropicPhantom: How are you ever going to be sure anyone is who you think they are? And even if you do, somehow, repair the block command... subverted identity verification means my friends and I can spam alt accounts.

(12:45)EntropicPhantom: I don't how long it's going to take, or how many more people you'll kill, but your strongest asset has been turned against you. Care to surrender?

(12:46)Empress_Of_Silence: Oh, piss off.

[Unichat log --]

(09:30)ReverseTheStreams: This is... most of Sonja's AI! Holy ****, where'd you get this?

(09:31)FelisKitty: Would you believe GodsOfOlympus gave it to me?

(09:33)ReverseTheStreams: At this point, I'll believe anything. I can't thank you enough. Theo's been looking for an AI to match Pancake's ever since Australia went down! May I forward it to him?

(09:34)FelisKitty: Yes, but not quite yet. Alex thought that's what it might be, so he's been setting up a distraction to cover the Etamnanki noise of setting up an AI.

(09:35)ReverseTheStreams: The what noise?

(09:36)FelisKitty: It's a long story, believe me. The point is, we agreed not to do anything with it until Pancake's looking the other way - you know he's got spyware everywhere.

(09:37)ReverseTheStreams: Fair enough. It's not like mushing this with our bot is going to be a particularly quick process, anyway.

(09:38)FelisKitty: "[M]ushing this with [y]our bot"?

(09:39)ReverseTheStreams: Oh, we've got a modded System bot to handle security and stuff. I'll see about getting your cell a copy! You've definitely made this alliance worthwhile, haha~

Leave a comment
[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): Unrelatedly, I really like how the colors happened on this page. Much aesthetic, wow.
Seabiscuit: Oh gosh
Yes this future must be avoided

So is this like

A few years down the line post-Sonjakidnapping (is she alive??) PoliceTimeline1, where Pancake still fails to nuke Australia somehow?

PoliceTimeline2, he succeeded and Silent lives; And with her alternate username, no less! That's a really cool combo of the timelines

I wonder how this ends up with Pwnz saying fuck it and merging >:
Athena semi-surviving makes me feel even sadder somehow, haha. So bittersweet
edit delete reply
FallenLeaves: Well well well well well!
So, first thing, we now have syntax for (possibly?) messaging other timelines, if that's a thing we want to do.
Speaking of which, could we come up with some clever command to get the absolute index of the timeline like that? I don't know enough Bash.
Though I would like to try
because the lack of datestamps is making this rather tricky to follow.

To completely change the subject, I've been thinking about our Australia situation. I don't think I've taken seriously enough Xeno's warnings that not having billions of people die would be (to paraphrase) ridiculously hard. While I'm not going to advocate giving up on stopping the attack, we might have to realise that we're unlikely to succeed, and see what sort of evacuation we can put in place.
/message MrE I've come into some information that Australia might be devastated in the near future, and want to see what I can do to minimise loss of life. Who would I need to contact to get something done about that?
(If this could be managed with my question from a while ago (153), I'd be much obliged) edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: I guess I know what I'm doing next update. edit delete reply
FallenLeaves: Thinking about this, I've just realised something rather meta which may cause problems for Xeno, and I'm sorry about that. I did wonder whether or not to say this, but we're already meta enough here that I think it should be fine. Apologies if I'm wrong.

So Pancake wants to destroy Australia, and we're trying to stop him. However, I'm now also going into damage-minimisation, for whatever good that will do.
Now, I think that conventional storytelling logic would prevent this, because one of these two efforts has to be useless. So the question is how much this is meant to be for the benefit of those actively involved, and how much for a finished product.
If it's for a finished product, I'm either going to be convinced somehow that I should stop this plot point before it bogs down the plot, or somehow both efforts will be covered, in which case I'm rather worried I might be making it more likely that Australia will be destroyed, as I'm making that the more dramatically satisfying option.
If, however, it's more focused on those who are actively involved, then I'm probably not meant to be thinking like this, as it's constraining the possibility-space on a meta-level, which (probably? I'm less sure of this here than I would be anywhere else.) isn't intended.
So basically, how exactly the story is structured affects the optimal decisions I could make and I don't know whether or not to consider this.
God I love this whole thing. edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Not Xeno but, I did ask her once what would happen if someone managed stopped an epic event from happening, she said she'd replace it with an also epic event (like if we hadn't intervened and allowed Sonja to be rescued in an epic way, something epic woulda happened instead)

In any case I think its just she has it all planned and does her own thing until one of us decides to troll the characters so I wouldn't worry about it:) edit delete reply
Arbiter: I nicknamed Alternate!Unichat Panichat, and that name became canon. I nicknamed MrE's would-be assassin Captain Koreaboo, and that name became canon. Let's see if I can perform the hat trick.
(That's a hockey reference, for those of you who don't know. ;P)
We now have at least three timelines existing simultaneously. In order to avoid confusion, I suggest we set up a system of classification.

If Australia is not irradiated, we're on a Cold Timeline. If it is irradiated, we're on a Hot Timeline.
If Sonja didn't go to the police, we're on a Snitchless Timeline. If Sonja went to the police, we're on a Fuzz Timeline.
This of course means that PoliceTimeline2 would be classified as a Hot Fuzz Timeline, which is pretty much the only good thing about it. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: ARBITER, YOU ACTUAL WALNUT edit delete reply
Arbiter: Arbiter face reveal:
[img]http://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/walnut-isolated-on-white-background-715041136[/img] edit delete reply
Arbiter: Well, fuck. That didn’t work. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Try this: [img]https://thumb1.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/183300796/715041136/stock-photo-walnut-isolated-on-a-white-background-715041136.jpg[/img] edit delete reply
Arbiter: image

...Why did you already have the URL for the picture of my face? edit delete reply
Temp Shoulder Angel: Xeno you and I both know that Arbiter is still the best fan. edit delete reply

HOT FUZZ TIMELINE edit delete reply
SansTheComic: ok i'm gonna do a proper reread and maybe try for a flowchart, this is screwing with my skull. edit delete reply
FallenLeaves: If you do it, could you show us? I for one would find it very helpful.
(Speaking of which, I still need to write up my time travel stuff.) edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: Holy juice, what the Swiss did I miss? edit delete reply