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Updates Wednesday and Saturday at 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]

(11:28)MrE: Well, this has been very informative for me, at least. Have I been of any help with your question?

(11:29)SansTheComic: yeah, you've helped a lot. thanks. anything i can do in return? you need information or anything?

(11:30)MrE: As of matter of fact, there is.

/message Arbiter rip me.

System: Incoming private message from user Arbiter:

(11:32)Arbiter: Assuming you haven't taken a sudden interest in the mechanics of fabric destruction, that sounds bad.

(11:32)SansTheComic: what is it?

/message reply mre's about to ask me for a favor...

(11:33)MrE: Keep an eye out for Erica. She has her mother's will - I couldn't keep her for getting involved in this even if I wanted to. But I'd be remiss not to stack the deck in her favor.

/message reply ...

/message reply nvm.

[Unichat log --]

(10:24)OITHEOI: Attention all points. This is a high-level strategic announcement. We are now allied with Pancake.

(10:24)OITHEOI: The terms of alliance are simple. Forces belonging to both parties shall consider each other no-shoot targets. Additionally, our interceptor wings will provide covering fire and surgical strikes as requested.

(10:25)OITHEOI: In exchange, our SIGINT divison has been granted limit access to Pancake's special computational asset.

(10:26)OITHEOI: 2nd, 3rd, and 5th squadrons, stand by for frag orders. Other units, proceed with current tasking.

(10:26)OITHEOI: That is all.

/message ItsDuckKingKarl I hope you're right about this.

System: Incoming private message from user ItsDuckKingKarl:

(10:27)ItsDuckKingKarl: Panny's desperate

System: Incoming private message from user ItsDuckKingKarl:

(10:27)ItsDuckKingKarl: And Duckbot's definitely in

System: Incoming private message from user ItsDuckKingKarl:

(10:28)ItsDuckKingKarl: Let's make the most of it before he catches on

/message reply I suppose repairing the status quo is worthwhile on its own merits. Still...

/message reply This alliance is distasteful.

[Unichat log --]


(20:18)System: Activating dump mode. Write your messages then send EOF (default: Ctrl-D) to send them all at once.

(20:44)Arbiter: Okay, so I assume that most of you have seen Steve The Mew Hunter’s conversation with Xeno.

(20:44)Arbiter: (Or I guess we’re supposed to call her Naomi when her timestamps are all freaky? IDFK.)

(20:44)Arbiter: Anyway, I wanted to address a couple of things. First of all, you aren’t my "followers", and I’m not your leader. I’m just a loudmouth who hates the system.

(20:44)Arbiter: And secondly, according to Xenaomi, we’ve been "ensnared by machinations [we] can’t yet understand."

(20:44)Arbiter: Now I’m sure there are plenty of machinations out there I don’t understand. I’m not even sure I understand what a machination is. But I do know this:

(20:44)Arbiter: Every year in Tenochtitlan, hundreds of Aztecs were sacrificed for the "greater good" of keeping the sun god alive. But when the empire fell, the sun still rose the next day.

(20:44)Arbiter: And now Xeno thinks that we need to sacrifice millions of Australians for the "greater good" of... what? "Navigating human existence between two unacceptable outcomes"? Why is a continent-sized thermonuclear detonation an "acceptable outcome"? When Australia is a sheet of scorched rock and the oceans are all full of irradiated fish who will look back and say, "Well thank god that happened"?

(20:44)Arbiter: There is no "greater good", there is only good. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let an entire continent get destroyed in order to appease some nebulously-defined bogeyman that’ll just rear its ugly head again as soon as the next generation of "the end is nigh" nutjobs show up.

(20:44)Arbiter: If any of you believe her and want to switch sides, I won’t stop you. I won’t even cuss you out.

(20:44)Arbiter: But I’m not buying it, and I swear to god I’ll save those people even if I have to evacuate the country with a fucking rowboat. Xeno’s machinations can ensnare my ass.

(20:47)SansTheComic: heh.

(20:47)SansTheComic: what's the plan?

(20:48)Arbiter: I don't know yet. I don't want to use you like pawns. That's what she does.

[Unichat log --]

(23:18)Pixelknight: ..Are you sure you'd have to sacrifice that many people in order to save humanity? I know we sometimes can't save everyone but...

(??:??)Xenocartographer: Yes.

(23:19)Pixelknight: That point of logic has been used many times to justify atrocious acts. in the end, the "Hero" that did it usually becomes the monster themselves.

(23:19)Pixelknight: I....

(23:19)Pixelknight: I'm not sure whether you'll truly bring them salvation. Or death. And i fear you'll bring the latter.

(??:??)Xenocartographer: At the lowest levels of the universe - close to the level of the naked rechnender raum - things that we assume to be distinct aren't. This is one of them.

(23:21)Pixelknight: What does that mean? Can you explain why we have to "Sacrifice" Australia?

(23:23)Pixelknight: If it truly does help more people in the long run. I'll help you out.

(??:??)Xenocartographer: No explanation is forthcoming. Either because I can't explain, because I don't want to, because I don't know, or because the answer is so terrible understanding would be worse than not, or some linear combination of the above.

(??:??)Xenocartographer: If you can accept that, we can cooperate. I will show you the secrets of the universe, in due time. But there will be gaps in what I can explain... for all the reasons given above.

(??:??)Xenocartographer: If you can't accept that, I hear Arbiter is looking for independent thinkers.

[Unichat log --]

(23:59)SansTheComic: i think we should talk to the locals. who do we know we can trust?

(01:02)Arbiter: The kids. MrE, I guess.

(01:03)SansTheComic: ravencorp's already talking with sonja. i was thinking mre.

(01:04)SansTheComic: aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh, though. what do i even say?

(01:05)Arbiter: Story of my life. "Help, I have to appeal to a would-be tyrant and all I have is this stupid chat client!"

(01:05)Arbiter: I'd suggest sleeping on it. Who knows, maybe some crazy Etamnanki dream will come along and give you all the ideas.

(01:06)SansTheComic: not a bad idea.

[Unichat log --]

(12:40)ItsDuckKingKarl: That's weird

(12:41)ItsDuckKingKarl: Duckbot's going through Pancake's Etamnanki data

(12:41)ItsDuckKingKarl: There have been some VERY strong spikes recently

(12:42)ItsDuckKingKarl: He wants to move deeper into the server

(12:45)System: User OITHEOI is now ACTIVE.

(12:45)OITHEOI: Tell Duckbot to hold for now. Have him collate a report of what he's seen.

(12:46)OITHEOI: The deeper he goes, the greater the risk of Pancake catching on. I want to make an informed decision.

(12:47)ItsDuckKingKarl: Okay

(12:48)ItsDuckKingKarl: This is Duckbot

(12:48)ItsDuckKingKarl: I'm tracing one particular thread of signaling

(12:48)ItsDuckKingKarl: It's weird

(12:48)ItsDuckKingKarl: Both endpoints are nonlocal, but it passes through this noosphere anyway

(12:48)ItsDuckKingKarl: And...

Leave a comment
[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): My update scripts always react oddly to messed-up syntax, but today's ridiculous mistake really takes the cake.
Xylas_Incarnum: Hmmmm.... so let me get this straight so far in vesrse there's been ww3, the moon's been sommat settled with a base but it's sommat lacking.... new doomsday cult popped up.... I'm blanking on what else I'm missing are there nuclear hot spots and what exactly happened to make computer tech get this handicapped anyways? One or more of the cast might've said something about that but I can't remember. edit delete reply
FallenLeaves: Pretty much.
WW3 was (unless I'm missing one) known as the "Gaian War" which happened several years ago (I don't think we've been given exact dates?) which involved most of the current players. I think that's the explanation for Nevada (nuclear wasteland), India (constant hints of severe damage) and the technological regression. edit delete reply
Arbiter: I didn’t realize Nevada was a wasteland because of the Gaian War. I thought it was just a wasteland because it’s Nevada. edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: "what exactly happened to make computer tech get this handicapped anyways?"

I think the only reason given was that, cause of the war, they lack the infrastructure to make things like they used to
Which makes sense cos I'm guessing Nevada isn't the only radioactive wasteland
I think India was totally wiped out? edit delete reply
Xylas_Incarnum: That'd have to be some serious infrastructure damage then. I've got the feeling that there's more to it though since DOS games like Doom don't exactly need all that much to work and I doubt even a few nukes would wreck the ability to make slightly above toaster computers. ... well unless Doom was never created in this time line or something. edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Haha, indeed- And we know they still have shit like smartphones...
Y'know one of us should just like, PM one of the kids and see what exactly is going on with the world, I'm sure they'd be willing to answer edit delete reply
Xylas_Incarnum: .... Wait a minute if they've got smartphones they've got the tech to make computers that can play ... mmmm.... not quite Half Life level games maybe but further along in tech than Doom's requirements... I think we just found a plot hole. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: If you think you've found a plot hole in my writing... Well, it happens to the best of us. But it's more likely that you've found a hint.

:) edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: I'm now very tempted to send one of these kids a smartphone able rom for one of the pokemon games. Not because I think it would help the situation, but because I deeply love pokemon. Who's with me on this? edit delete reply
Temp Shoulder Angel: That's a great idea. edit delete reply
Guest: Ohhh, do!
Bonus if its one of the older ones cos nostalgia edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Woop, that was me... edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: Just for you, I'll see what I can do after the next update. This is probably entirely pointless. Also, if I somehow doom this timeline with Pokemon, I just have to say... worth it. edit delete reply
Arbiter: The first Pokemon game came out in ‘96. That means the series is 87 years old from the characters’ perspectives, around as old as Betty Boop is from ours. I wonder how relevant it still is in-universe?
God, that makes me realize that we are literally incapable of referencing anything less than 65 years old from the perspective of these people. What must we sound like to them? “God, this movie from 76 years ago sure is great! Isn’t that right, SansTheCharacterFromA2015VideoGame?” edit delete reply
Xylas_Incarnum: I'm just going to pull up a site with doom's shareware copy still on it and throw that into the main group's moon channel. gotta find the site first. edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: "I’ll save those people even if I have to evacuate the country with a fucking rowboat."

Gosh, MrE's request. Y'all, Meta is the purest muffin in the comic and we gotta keep her safe ;~: edit delete reply
LightBringer: Very Interesting indeed. edit delete reply
Xylas_Incarnum: /auth TheDerangedOne
/join moon-butt
Fuck being subtle time to make waves.
*cough*ahem*cough *deep breath*:
You kids got smartphones but you don't have any actual graphics capacity on your computers? I smell bullshit. Ever heard of a game series called Doom? (or Hexen, or singular games such as Shadow Warrior, Blood, And Duke Nukem 3D) go here: https://www.doomworld.com/idgames/idstuff/doom/doom19s
and use an extractor on the files with doom in their names... I'm not to sure if the tech you lot have on hand can use the packaged extractor or whatever those other items in the zip file are. Not sure if the game will run on your comps without someone retooling the exe file but given how Sonja's cooked up a literal AI that should be a minor thing to do.

Might give you lot some R&R.... Or something. Demon killing's rather cathartic when the demons are all monsters that want to eat your face and not when they're just a infernal blooded humanoid race that might as well just be a different flavor of huma... elf... pseudo half-elf. tend to be good at both magic and beating someone's face in through bodily might. (yes I'm heavily stereotyping here) edit delete reply
SansTheComic: holy crap whyyyyy edit delete reply
Xylas_Incarnum: because I'm more than a little insane. Granted I keep that madness locked up rather well most days but something about this comic keeps picking the locks and opening the deadbolts. ... Then gives it an IV of caffeine and other stimulants along with one of nutrient slush.

Well all that and I wanted to flip the table. So I did. partially. Let's see what storm this pops up... well if it's used. edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: You're a madman, jack. edit delete reply