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Updates Wednesday and Saturday at 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]

/message MrE what the hell are you doing?

System: Incoming private message from user MrE:

(10:24)MrE: Trying to find hope in a universe that increasingly seems bereft of it. I don't believe we've been introduced. I'm Androcles Kouri, and you?

/message reply someone who just realised they could try to find out which side they should be on.

System: Incoming private message from user MrE:

(10:25)MrE: As good a question as any! But we can go deeper. Please hold just one second.

(10:25)System: User MrE is initiating a private chat.


(10:25)MrE: Much better.

(10:26)SansTheComic: so.

(10:26)MrE: So?

(10:26)SansTheComic: you said we can "go deeper".

(10:27)MrE: We can indeed. If you're trying to choose a side, might'n't be prudent to know what sides there are?

(10:27)SansTheComic: uhm.

(10:27)SansTheComic: well, there's the chess club.

(10:28)MrE: Do you consider them all the same side?

(10:28)SansTheComic: not really. rapsutin and vampire seem to be working together. the rest hate each other.

(10:29)MrE: Mhm. So it's necessary for a "side" to get along?

(10:29)SansTheComic: i guess.

(10:30)SansTheComic: they don't all want the same thing.

(10:31)MrE: Is that how you'd define a side?

(10:31)SansTheComic: i guess.

(10:31)SansTheComic: why are you asking me these cryptic questions?

(10:32)MrE: I prefer to teach by asking. May I assume you've seen the interactions between myself and my daughter?

(10:32)SansTheComic: some of them.

(10:33)MrE: Then you know it's not just you. :)

(10:34)SansTheComic: well. yes. a side is people that want the same thing.

(10:35)MrE: In the French Revolution, there were plenty of groups that all wanted "the same thing" in that they all wanted to replace the existing order. Nonetheless, squabbles between different factions limited the effectiveness of the entire revolution... until a leader emerged who could overcome all of them.

(10:36)SansTheComic: napoleon.

(10:36)MrE: Of course. Have you ever seen Monty Python's Life of Brian? I suppose that may have been before your time...

(10:36)SansTheComic: ...

(10:36)SansTheComic: is there someone who can unite the chess club?

(10:37)MrE: Pancake could unite the others against him. Otherwise, I don't think so.

(10:37)SansTheComic: a straight answer...

(10:38)MrE: Do you see the chess club members as significant players?

(10:38)SansTheComic: probably. maybe not theo so much.

(10:39)SansTheComic: orlov is definitely up to something. and gods. and... xeno.

(10:39)MrE: Would you be so kind as to remind an old man who're you're talking about?

(10:40)SansTheComic: the mysterious lady that put us all in touch with you. somehow.

(10:40)SansTheComic: arbiter, too.

(10:41)MrE: Who?

(10:42)SansTheComic: he used to be one of xeno's followers. now he's not. she calls him a "heathen traitor". it's kind of pathetic.

(10:43)SansTheComic: and then there's delta. they're... like xeno, i guess. mysterious. know things they shouldn't. kill people.

(10:44)MrE: They sound like quite the character.

(10:45)SansTheComic: they scammed xeno once.

(10:45)MrE: Oh?

(10:46)SansTheComic: yeah. they assassinated someone called padlock and used their account to pose as another follower.

(10:48)MrE: So the sides you see are... Pancake, OITHEOI, Respiration, Orlov, and three different unknown entities. Is that correct?

(10:49)SansTheComic: respiration?

(10:50)MrE: I'm sorry. Rasputin and Vampire... Rasputin/Vampire -> Raspire - > Respire -> Respiration.

(10:50)MrE: OITHEOI was something of a geek before he turned so serious.

(10:50)SansTheComic: ...

(10:50)MrE: Are there any others?

(10:51)SansTheComic: you.

(10:51)MrE: I'm flattered, but no. My legacy now lies with another...

(10:52)SansTheComic: the kids. meta, alex, etc.

(10:53)MrE: Surely you can trust them, can't you? They've been dragged into this kicking and screaming... much as it sounds like you have.

(10:54)MrE: Their motives are unformed and dictated by their circumstances. They have little room for deception.

(10:55)SansTheComic: yeah, we're in the same boat there.

(10:56)SansTheComic: i guess i don't really consider them a side yet. they haven't done enough. they've all been reacting to things and talking about what they might do in the future.

(10:56)SansTheComic: no offense.

(10:56)MrE: None taken. You're correct that ordinary college students aren't likely to effect much wide-scale change, not with the powers arrayed against them... to say nothing of your cartographer.

(10:56)MrE: Can the same be said of you?

(11:02)SansTheComic: yes.

(11:03)SansTheComic: well. we've done things. like rescuing sonja.

(11:03)MrE: I was wondering how that came about.

(11:04)SansTheComic: i don't think we have a long-term plan.

(11:04)SansTheComic: she did most of the rescuing herself. we just helped.

(11:05)MrE: Meaning Sonja, not Xeno?

(11:05)SansTheComic: yes.

(11:06)SansTheComic: xeno hasn't done too much either, honestly. she's tried to get us to things... but i don't know how!

(11:06)SansTheComic: and she told pancake to nuke australia.

(11:06)MrE: Worrying...

(11:06)SansTheComic: iirc, that's when arbiter really broke away.

(11:07)MrE: Why do you need to pick a side?

(11:08)SansTheComic: everyone's objectives are confusing. who's "right"?

(11:08)MrE: Why not yourself?

(11:08)SansTheComic: all i can do is talk to people. i don't even know if i exist physically in your world. it's confusing.

(11:09)MrE: So you're looking for a power base - someone whose objectives are compatible with yours, who can assist you in effecting change in the world.

(11:10)SansTheComic: yes.

(11:10)MrE: And just what are your objectives?

(11:14)SansTheComic: ...

(11:17)SansTheComic: i don't know.

(11:18)MrE: Well, that may be your problem. You've identified your possible allies, but not what you're looking for in an ally.

(11:19)SansTheComic: ...

(11:20)SansTheComic: it feels like we're supposed to do something. xeno set this all up for a reason. i don't know what it could possibly be.

(11:20)SansTheComic: or whether i should work with it or stop it. if she's ok with genocide, i probably don't want to work with her, but...

(11:21)MrE: There is a war on - a secret war between the chess club, threatening to break out into the open. Especially if Xeno has her way.

(11:22)SansTheComic: yeah.

(11:23)SansTheComic: i guess stopping it would be good.

(11:24)SansTheComic: it feels so anticlimactic, though. all this buildup for a simple peacekeeping effort...

(11:25)SansTheComic: ep, sonja, and luke all talked about feeling important somehow. i think i get what they mean.

(11:25)SansTheComic: but that doesn't get me any closer to figuring out what my objectives are.

(11:26)MrE: Is there, by any chance, another side you've omitted from your analysis?

[Unichat log --]

System: Incoming private message from user Stargazer:

(08:40)Stargazer: How shall we proceed? Or rather, how do you instruct me to proceed?

/message reply My objectives are moving on multiple fronts, but one major thing still eludes me. I can voyeurize Unichat logs as much as I want, but other forms of communication aren't so easy. Face-to-face communication... particularly so.

/message reply I need someone who can get some information on a certain party who prefers to keep their conversations offline. But they do have some online presence to mediate with those outside of their inner circle.

/message reply Reach out to those contact points. Ingratiate yourself to them. And do not talk to Arbiter's people about this. If they contact you, refuse to elaborate. I'm sorry, but too much Etamnanki noise is a good way to blow your cover.

/message reply Because the people in question are all Gaians.

System: Incoming private message from user Stargazer:

(08:46)Stargazer: How should I start?

/message reply That's up to you. Unum_Relicuum is one obvious lead. I've heard he's looking for more prophets.

/message reply Alternatively, Orlov may be willing to give you a list of names. Don't mention you're working with me, though.

System: Incoming private message from user Stargazer:

(08:50)Stargazer: What are you looking for?

/message reply Anything. The more I can learn about Gaia from this timeline, the better.

/message reply It really is more important than anything.

[Unichat log --]

(11:27)SansTheComic: oh.

(11:27)SansTheComic: right.

(11:28)MrE: Well, this has been very informative for me, at least. Have I been of any help with your question?

Leave a comment
[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): Gonna be resolving some user PMs for the next few updates, so now's a good time to get them submitted if you want them to happen quickly!!
Seabiscuit: MrE is just so well written

Like, I can see him as a kindly professor edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Also Respiration?? We finally have a ship name!! edit delete reply
Arbiter: Even the other characters ship them, it’s hilarious. edit delete reply
LightBringer: So does this mean all that nonsense from a few pages back is finally gonna hit? That's gonna be hilarious. edit delete reply
GeneralButtercrust: What nonsense? Like, there's so much nonsense, which nonsense are you referring to? edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: -snerk- You people sure do do things. edit delete reply
LightBringer: The nonsense with poking robots, poking everyone, I think it was mostly on page 157. edit delete reply
Sewer_Rat: ... Sorry edit delete reply
LightBringer: I'm not mad at you, I thought that was freaking hilarious. I just want to see the results! edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: I want to know if Etamnanki liked my song! edit delete reply
SansTheComic: so Stargazer just coincidentally can't talk to us because otherwise his cover will be blown? with the of course completely unintended side-effect that they won't get contrasting opinions on what they're doing? sounds fishy.
/message Arbiter hey, can you or Delta make an alt and message Stargazer to try and trick them into replying? apparently it might mess with whatever xeno's doing.
/message MrE yeah, you've helped a lot. thanks. anything i can do in return? you need information or anything?
/message SonjaOfTheMoon hey, any way you can get Athena to gather info? goddess of wisdom and all that. it would be awesome if we could actually know what we were facing. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: I've set up the aux link for you... but yes, Arbiter's breakaway has made you guys more vulnerable to Etamnanki intrusion. Plenty of predators consider bear cubs delicious, but they're not gonna fuck with the momma bear. But if the cub gets isolated... edit delete reply
((Delta)): /message SansTheComic Happy to help! Your request is already under way... just give me some time - this is a delicate process when they read all the same things you can, after all! edit delete reply
Arbiter: /message SansTheComic Well, let’s see... The objective is to make noise, right? I have an idea. edit delete reply
Hot_Fuzz_Facts: /message Stargazer Thank you for subscribing to Hot Fuzz Facts! We will send you fun and interesting facts about the 2007 cinematic masterpiece Hot Fuzz every thirty minutes! To unsubscribe, please reply “FUCK OFF UP THE MODEL VILLAGE”.
/message Stargazer Hot Fuzz Fact #1: Did you know that the 2007 cinematic masterpiece Hot Fuzz was released in 2007? edit delete reply
Arbiter: (Don’t worry, I’m not actually going to fill the comments section with hundreds of inane bits of trivia about the greatest movie of all time. However, if Xeno thinks this is a funny enough joke to include in the comic she can put in a log of HFF spamming Stargazer every thirty minutes with pointless shit like this. Maybe getting eaten by one of those spooky Etamnanki beasties Xeno keeps warning us about, too, I’m cool with that.) edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Xeno is a heathen thats seen like 13 movies in her life, and Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead are not among those few

I've got a lot of work to do with this one *sigh* edit delete reply
Arbiter: Wow. That makes me want to betray her all over again. :P edit delete reply
Stargazer: /block Hot_Fuzz_Facts
/report Hot_Fuzz_Facts Reporting for harassment and spam. edit delete reply
Arbiter: Yeah, that’s cool, I figured you might do something like that. It would have been out of character for me not to oppose you in some way, but I didn’t actually want to get in the way of your ability to roleplay or enjoy the comic, so I figured I’d do something ineffectual and (hopefully at least a little) humorous. edit delete reply
Stargazer: I'm afraid some of the humor is lost on me, I have no idea what the movie "Hot Fuzz" is, but I chuckled at the thought of in-universe Stargazer being tormented by dozens of messages about various movies from various alt accounts. edit delete reply
Arbiter: It’s a British action-comedy buddy cop movie that came out in 2007. Arbiter being obsessed with it kind of became a bit of a running joke on the forum. It is genuinely really good though, I’d recommend checking it out. edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: /message MrE Hi, MrE! Huge fan! Y'know, you were supposed to die. I'm so glad you didn't! :D
/message MrE Since it seems like we're gonna be facing off against a breakfast themed villain, is there anything you can tell us that might be helpful? Anyway that we can help the kids out?
/message MrE (Also, anything you can tell us about the fellow that threatened you and your wife? We've taken to calling him "Captain Koreaboo"...) edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: "Captain Koreaboo"? That's freaking amazing and I love it, when was this decided? edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Lmfao pretty sure we have Arbiter to thank for that one :D edit delete reply
Arbiter: It was in the comments of this page, if you’re interested. My only funny joke, haha. edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Haha! Pls. You've made me and Xeno snerk many many a time~ edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Oh, here's a question. Xeno can comic!Xeno(s) break the fourth wall to the extent that she can... read our comments? Like down here? edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: It's not a matter of fourth-wall breaking. But yes. edit delete reply
Stargazer: /message Xenocartographer
I'll begin immediately. As a precaution, I will be forwarding any attempts to contact me to you, so that you can evaluate whether responding may be worthwhile. Otherwise, I will cease all communications with anyone other than you, except if you give explicit instructions otherwise. edit delete reply
Stargazer: /message Xenocartographer
To amend my statement, I will communicate with some individuals in order to pursue my mission, but I assume you understand the intent behind my sentiment. edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: /message Stargazer
Do you want a hand on this, or do you think Naomi has a different plan in mind for me to work on? We few of the Council need to work together, right? edit delete reply
Stargazer: (Out of character)
My intention to speak to as few individuals as possible probably applies to you too. Can't be too careful, and Stargazer is very intent on making sure nothing goes wrong. edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: It's cool. But now you've got me curious. edit delete reply
Stargazer: /message Unum_Relicuum
Hello there. I hear you are in search of prophets. Will of Gaia permitting, I would like to assist you. edit delete reply
Storme: This has all been very interesting thus far. edit delete reply
Temp Shoulder Angel: Just you wait. This has just been the calm before the Storme. edit delete reply
Storme: how original edit delete reply
Temp Shoulder Angel: Thanks. I try. :P edit delete reply
SansTheComic: well, that certainly was an enlightening pun, and icy it was white on time. some puns won't be mist, it's quite a heated topic actually, but this one was striking. with skills like that, you'll take the world by storme. i don't know weather others will back me up, but i'll be the frost one to forecast that you'll rain well. edit delete reply
Temp Shoulder Angel: Oh gods sans. That's terrible. I love it. edit delete reply
Pixelknight: /message Xenocartographer
..Are you sure you'd have to sacrifice that many people in order to save humanity? I know we sometimes can't save everyone but...

That point of logic has been used many times to justify atrocious acts. in the end, the "Hero" that did it usually becomes the monster themselves.

I'm not sure whether you'll truly bring them salvation. Or death. And i fear you'll bring the latter. edit delete reply
Pixelknight: This is actually a genuine question. Though i think it'll help develop the plot if i asked it in character. edit delete reply
Pixelknight: Well, i've just read your announcement and i've realized i might have messed up. You didn't plan on including my last PM did you? Hopefully not. edit delete reply