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Updates Wednesday and Saturday at 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]

(14:12)Arbiter: Aaaaaaaaargggg!!!

(14:12)Arbiter: That was... a serious tease on Xeno's part.

(14:13)Turquoise: You mean you think she caused it?

(14:13)Arbiter: Showing us the log in the first place. What's the point? To rub it in that she rules our [censored] lives?

(14:14)SansTheComic: at least it explains why i felt so dizzy earlier.

(14:15)SansTheComic: aww, though. i was looking forward to trying out my - or should i say, our - failsafe.

(14:15)Ravencorp: Failsafe?

(14:15)SansTheComic: it doesn't look like we'll get to see it happen, so i'll let my friend explain what would have happened. brb

/alias --alias=whydoibotheryoucanseethroughit

(14:15)System: Alias set. Note that users of moderator rank or above may bypass your alias.

/message ThatOneVampChick stop that. -_-

(14:16)System: User SansOfTheUnderground is now ACTIVE.

(14:16)SansOfTheUnderground: so way, way back, when we first learned about mind control, the three of us realised it would be really, really bad if someone mind controlled one of the Council. they'd have access to all the logs we do, have a mole in our ranks and possibly be able to try and take over the time we're in. also, the mind controlled person would, y'know, have been mind controlled, which isn't fun for anyone. so we created the Imperium Protocol.

/alias --clear

(14:16)System: Alias cleared.

(14:17)System: User SansFinalGuardian is now ACTIVE.

(14:17)SansFinalGuardian: basically, we agreed that if one of us was at risk of being mind controlled, we'd go to their house and cut off their internet, take turns watching them and essentially trying to limit how much damage they could potentially do. then we thought of a cool latiny-sounding name and stuck protocol on the end. :P

(14:17)Arbiter: That... is pretty [censored] brilliant. That would have been a pretty cool gambit, it’s too bad we didn’t get to see it come into play. It is nice to know we can’t be mind-controlled though.

(14:17)System: User Seabiscuit is now ACTIVE.

(14:17)Seabiscuit: Omg omg omg

(14:18)System: User Pixelknight is now ACTIVE.

(14:18)Pixelknight: What's up?

(14:18)Seabiscuit: Oh oh, you know, Arbiter

(14:18)Seabiscuit: I bet your good buddy Theo would love to help take Pancake down

(14:19)Arbiter: Sigh. Yeah, you’re probably right. But Steve’s right, we need to work as a team if we’re going to accomplish anything.

(14:21)Arbiter: As much as I hate to admit it, it might be a good idea to bring the Blue Blowhard in on this. He won’t want Pancake to succeed, and he might actually have the resources to stop him. And besides, Deltass has already got Rasputin involved. Should I send him the log I sent you?

(14:22)Ravencorp: I say go for it.

(14:23)FallenLeaves: Agreed.

(14:23)System: User Turquoise has been idle for 10 minutes - setting status to AWAY.

(14:24)Pixelknight: Uhm, if the vote of someone who hasn't actively participated much yet count, yes.

(14:24)Arbiter: Of course it does. We're all Heathen Traitors, didn't you know?

(14:24)Ravencorp: And that makes us a team. Though I'm not quite sure where you came from.

(14:25)System: User Turquoise is now ACTIVE.

(14:25)Turquoise: You can say that about all of us :P

(14:26)Arbiter: Alright then, here goes.

(14:26)judge-of-character: and if making noise puts us in danger, it might be a good idea to use alts

(14:26)System: User SansTheComic has been idle for 10 minutes - setting status to AWAY.

(14:26)System: User SansOfTheUnderground has been idle for 10 minutes - setting status to AWAY.

(14:27)Ravencorp: Good idea!

(14:27)Arbiter: NVM, I just got a PM from Xeno that it won't help.

(14:27)System: User SansFinalGuardian has been idle for 10 minutes - setting status to AWAY.

(14:28)Arbiter: "FYI, if you're going to stab me in the back, at least do it right. Aliases are built into Unichat application layer. Etamnanki is significantly lower in the stack than that."

(14:28)Arbiter: Perhaps... someone who's [censored] up less than me can figure out what to make of that. I just got a response from Theo.

(14:29)Seabiscuit: What say?!

(14:30)Arbiter: It's... strange. I'm going to have to go deal with this.

(14:30)Arbiter: No matter what happens, we're basically fighting a war now, on too many fronts. We need allies, we need to figure out what Etamnanki is, and Gaia, and what Delta wants, and I think Xeno said something about antimatter?

(14:31)Seabiscuit: A- antimatter? D:

(14:32)Arbiter: If any of you want to, you know, not follow me into getting millions of lives in over your head, now'd be the time.

(14:33)Ravencorp: Nah. It's like you said, we're all heathen traitors. We're in this together.

(14:34)Seabiscuit: Damn straight!

[Unichat log --]

/message reply Can you blame a gal for trying?

System: Incoming private message from user SansTheComic:

(14:18)SansTheComic: yes...

/message reply :(

System: Incoming private message from user SansTheComic:

(14:19)SansTheComic: you picked a bad time to be coy.

/message reply How so?

System: Incoming private message from user SansTheComic:

(14:21)SansTheComic: you just found out your powers don't work on me. shouldn't you be worried?

/message reply No, some other people are immune. Including, by the way, Pancake, Theo, and Gods, lest you get any funny ideas.

/message reply It would be too convenient otherwise.

System: Incoming private message from user SansTheComic:

(14:22)SansTheComic: but not rasputin?

/message reply I could hardly have sent him after the Nauticus if he were, could I?

System: Incoming private message from user SansTheComic:

(14:23)SansTheComic: how fortunate there's no one else with mind control powers to exploit that...

/message reply Was that a threat?

System: Incoming private message from user SansTheComic:

(14:24)SansTheComic: no.

/message reply There's something you need to understand about how this game is played. You don't say things that can be construed as implications unless you intend them.

/message reply And there's something else you need to understand, too.

System: Incoming private message from user SansTheComic:

(14:25)SansTheComic: oh?

/message reply Unfortunately, I can't tell you yet. Going off recent events, more people might be listening than previously believed.

/message reply So I'm just going to allude to something, and see who comes running to ask about it. Otherwise...

/message reply Well, you'll find out soon enough either way.

Leave a comment
[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): In other news... I usually like my update scripts a lot, but messing up the PM syntax tends to yield unusual results. Case in point...
Arbiter: Well, well, well. Looks like everyone ended up siding with me. Even Seabiscuit. I guess my metric assloads of charm and charisma must have won them all ov-AHAHAHA I can't even say that with a straight face.
you picked a bad time to be coy edit delete reply
FallenLeaves: Hm. I wouldn't say I was siding with you, personally. I'm offering advice and attempting to gather information, which now I mention it is basically siding with you.
However, I am generally opposed to the balkanisation we seem to be constantly undergoing.
Speaking of attempts to gather information, I'm still really curious as to how my message to MrE will pan out. edit delete reply
Arbiter: Yeah, I know. As always, I was kidding. I’m not the leader of the team anyway, so it’s not really my side. But that doesn’t mean I can’t tease Xeno! :P edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: "my metric assloads of charm and charisma" LMAO

I hope Xeno and ?Xeno will forgive me for talking to Heathen Traitors edit delete reply
FallenLeaves: Oh, also, it's quite possible everyone else already knows this, but has anyone checked Arbiter's character page in-comic recently? Xeno made some changes... edit delete reply
GeneralButtercrust: An Inaugural IC post from me at last, I hope it makes the cut!

The real problem here is that we, the Vague Omniscient Council of Heathen Traitors, are playing with half a deck, a rules system we are only figuring out as it becomes relevant, and we jumped in halfway through.

Almost everything we do is either ignored, or ultimately pointless. What we need, before we talk to anyone else, is a trump card. A factoid that no one else has access too, and the right time to use it. Trouble is, how do we get it?

Common sense says just wait and read, but at the end of the day, it seems we just keep rolling on Xanatos' roulette wheel here. We need a lifeline, an in, a phone-a-friend.

The only possible member of the Chess Club we can even think of relying on is MrE, and even then, he's retired and out of the game, and I'm not scummy enough to bring up the fact that his daughter may or may not be involved by virtue of the Conspiracy of Light(also I don't think we have enough information on the CoL to use that as anything at this point), so I have no idea how we could even get him to do much more than go 'hmm I see, not my problem.'

Speaking of... When was the last time we checked in on them?


Perhaps... Perhaps that's it. Perhaps we should rely less on ourselves, and more on that wacky bunch of meddling universal constants...

/alias MrCellophane
/message SonjaOfTheMoon
So... I've caught word of some, shall we say, 'Interesting Events' that you've been involved in. How's that going so far?

As for who I may be, it's in the name, if you know your late 20th Century musicals. edit delete reply
CONNECT 1200: Antimatter, huh? BTW, you can get comparable energy per unit of mass just by dropping stuff onto a neutron star. Lots of bother, yet still easier to pull off than getting and handling a supermassive black hole worth of antimatter.

Surely, the rulers of the Universe, if any, might not like us using their heavy element factories in such barbaric manner, though. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Yes, that would also work. edit delete reply
Arbiter: So we don’t necessarily need antimatter, we just need lots of energy. edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: Have I even made an appearance in comic? And yet I'm making an impact in it?! edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Correct on both counts. edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: When did I show up in the comic before this? edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Oh, I'm sorry, I worded that poorly. No, you haven't shown up before; yes, you've still had an indirect impact on the plot. I wonder how... edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: I really hope to find out eventually, however, I'm in this mess now, NO GETTING RID OF ME!!! edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Something something fourth wall. edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: Did you plan this? edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: So, I know most of the time it seems like I'm just scoffing at everyone trying so hard to make a difference. How I just poke fun and mock all of your efforts and your lack of proper organization. However, I genuinely do want to see a happy ending to this. I'm usually pretty lazy... I've been staying out of this mostly because I didn't want to start something I couldn't finish... I do believe in heroes...

I guess it's time to put my money where my mouth is. THINGS CHANGE AND IT'S SO MUCH FUN!!!

/join #vague-omnipresent-jury
Sans, Sans, Sans, Arbiter, you've earned my respect with your efforts and risks.
I can't promise much and I don't know how much it's worth, but as long as there is a plan, I'm willing to try and help.


/message Xenocartographer
Depending on what happens, I may end up joining the Heathen cause.
I've been trying to stay out of it, but the stunt of the Sans kinda pulled me in.
Anyways, I'm just giving you fair warning because I do believe you have a noble cause as well, and I also had a question for you.
How did it feel when things started spiraling out of control?
How did it feel when the monkeys started trying to take over the zoo?
Anyways, good luck with everything. :) edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: This is me being genuinely curious.
Also, sorry everyone, for calling you monkeys! edit delete reply
CONNECT 1200: Ook, indeed. I'd bet most of us here are apes. edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: What


wut r u doin here? edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Just a silly callback, haha edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: You and your several year old bricks. First Australia, now this. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Y'know, I can't really afford to hemorrhage any more allies... I'll take, and answer, these questions at face value. See you Saturday. edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE edit delete reply
Stargazer: /message Xenocartographer
Hello there. I'd like to let you know, I am at your service. Not all of us agree with the 'Heathen Traitors', as they call themselves, and it would be a pleasure to help you out with that little problem. edit delete reply
Arbiter: So much for my metric assloads of charm and charisma. edit delete reply
((Delta)): What, and our interactions didn't clue you in that some of us aren't that easily swayed by your "charm"? edit delete reply
Arbiter: I just don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t be won over by the charming and affable way my character cusses them out and rails at them for no reason... :P
Yeah, Arby’s an asshole. He’s fun to role play as, but I’d absolutely hate to be him in real life. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Hey Delta!! I've been wondering when you'd return to making my life more complicated than it needs to be. :) edit delete reply
Ravencorp: Hmm, things do be happening. edit delete reply
Pyre Light: Sorry guys, but until I am comfortable with uncontrolled experiments attempting to empirically determine the I/O processes of magical/mythical/technological cross universe communication technologies, I am staying on the sidelines. I wish you the very best though! edit delete reply
Xylas_Incarnum: Well, this is a case of Xanatos Speed Chess if I've ever seen such a thing.

Must say I've got this gut feeling that the religious nuts are confusing A Future with The Future. going far enough down the line and most things start to look the same despite having gone down multiple pathways to get a similar result. Doesn't mean a more desirable outcome doesn't exist just that it's a minute probability. I mean, hell even without Hitler WW2 would probably have started up anyways, just from the Russian front. Though it's a question of whether or not the first world war would have happened if people had waited for correspondence to get through to everyone involved before taking action. Everyone dropped the ball for WW1.... Well 'cept the America's (north and south continental masses not blanketing all that as USA). The States did become a rather powerful aid to the Allies once we actually decided to step into the ring in earnest.

... Shit rambling. Sorry. Enough talking philosphy and time-y wime-y bull shit I'm gonna go kill shit. Turns out most dos games still run on computers... somehow. edit delete reply