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Updates Saturday at 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]

(16:23)GodsOfOlympus: We need to talk.

(16:24)Xenocartographer: Do we?

(16:24)GodsOfOlympus: I could have you banned from the server, which is beginning to seem like an increasingly appealing option. Spare me the bullshit.

(16:25)Xenocartographer: So admins can turn off the filter...

(16:25)Xenocartographer: Sorry. What can I do for you?

(16:27)GodsOfOlympus: I've gotten no less than six requests to resolve an alias, all from the "chess club". It's one of yours.

(16:28)Xenocartographer: Oh? (Not playing dumb, my attention has been elsewhere.)

(16:30)GodsOfOlympus: "so this is how it's going to work. either you tell me what i want to know, or, sometime in the future, i'll leak one of your plans to your little coterie. i have my ways of getting information. fairly sure at least one of them is annoyed with you enough to put a spanner in it just by principle. also, if i find out you lied, i'll leak the info anyway. a hint of the kind of information i can get: <various> anyway, all i want to know is why you're really doing what you're doing. your choice!"

(16:31)Xenocartographer: Oh, Sans. Yeah, they sent me one too.

(16:31)GodsOfOlympus: And me.

(16:32)Xenocartographer: Could I ask what the hints were? I can find out either way, I mean, I'm just distracted and it would be convenient.

(16:33)GodsOfOlympus: "Australia" to Pancake, "MrE" to Theo, "shatterpoints" to Rasputin, and "mind control" to Vampire.

(16:34)Xenocartographer: That's only four...

(16:34)GodsOfOlympus: Sans sent different messages to two other people, MrE and Delta. They just said "what the hell are you doing?". They all used the same alias: Philomath.

(16:34)Xenocartographer: Hmm.

[Unichat log --]

/message reply I have no interest being stuck in a dead-end timeline where everyone I care about is dead. If I leave on a magic carpet made out of a zillion irradiated koalas, so be it.

/message reply At this point that is the extent of my motivations. You people can fight over this burnt-out world as much as you'd like. There's nothing left for me here.

[Unichat log --]

/message reply Kouri? What about him?

/message reply He hasn't been mistreated in any way. Well, I suppose you could count living on military rations as "mistreatment", but there's not much I can do about that.

/message reply It's rather an ironic state of affairs, all things considered, but far better than being dead to fuel Gods' schemes.

/message reply Also, I don't appreciate threats.

[Unichat log --]

/message reply Ooooooh, shatterpoints. Those sure aren't a thing everybody knows about. :) I wonder where you heard the term?

/message reply As for me, I'm arranging to be in the right place at the right time to ensure a few billion people die. Otherwise, the timeline won't get cleaned up and the multiverse gets cancer.

/message reply You did know a shatterpoint is the cosmic equivalent of chemotherapy, right?

[Unichat log --]

/message reply Hon, you're not telling anyone anything. I can see to that myself.

/message reply After all, I do have mind control powers. The question is, where did you learn that...?

/message reply How about you go run along and play with the other wannabees, and I won't forcibly drag it out of your mind.

[Unichat log --]

/message reply Trying to find hope in a universe that increasingly seems bereft of it. I don't believe we've been introduced. I'm Androcles Kouri, and you?

[Unichat log --]

(14:22)System: Message delivery failed: Destination user unavailable.

[Unichat log --]

/message reply Trying to alias yourself against an administrator isn't a particularly effective strategy. I know exactly who you are, and where you're transmitting from.

/message reply I... have questions. I feel a pressing need for allies.

/message reply I'm looking for a ship, and I have reason to suspect your puppetmaster wants it as well. I want to know why.

/message reply In return, I'll tell you the real meaning behind my chosen alias.

[Unichat log --]

/message reply There are really two choices, aren't there? To save and/or run the universe. I'll leave it to you to speculate which it is.

/message reply Let me promise you this, though: If you attempt to oppose me...

/message reply Nothing untoward will happen to you, at least not from me. I won't take extraordinary measures to protect you from your own decisions, but they're your decisions to make.

/message reply You may be a heathen traitor, and the aftermath will catch up to you, one way or another.

/message reply But God let Lucifer fall, too. Have you ever wondered why?

[Unichat log --]
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[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): I told you there's a reason Rasputin knew Sans' username!! In other news, my Tuesdays have become rather busy, so the update schedule's shifting to Wednesday/Saturday instead.
Arbiter: Xeno, does there exist a possible version of events where billions of people don’t die in a horrible cataclysmic event, or should we just go back to fucking around aimlessly? Pancake’s trying to blow up a continent and it’s unclear whether you and Rasputin want to help or hinder him, but in any case Raspy seems pretty determined to rack up a ten-figure death count of his own and he seems to think that if he fails then literally everyone in every conceivable reality is going to die.
(In case it isn’t clear, I’m asking this out of character, for the sole reason that I’m curious. I think that in-story Arbiter would be far too stubborn to even consider that large-scale loss of life really might be unavoidable, and he’d certainly be too suspicious of Xeno to ask for her advice.) edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: There is, but it requires an in-depth understanding of Etamnanki, more antimatter than one universe's worth of humanity can reasonably gather, and several instances of various people, mostly ones we don't like. edit delete reply
Arbiter: ...You answered my question, and yet I somehow feel like I know less now than I did before. edit delete reply
GeneralButtercrust: That's how a good author is supposed to make you feel when there's time travel and alternate realities at play! edit delete reply
FallenLeaves: Hmm. That doesn't mean impossible. I, for one, would be in favour of continuing to try. This is probably a really bad idea.
"mostly ones we don't like"
Under that heading, I would consider definitely Pancake (though some seem to have warmed to him recently), probably Xeno (though the use of "we" would be... interesting... in that case), and honestly I can't think of any other unambiguously disliked characters. Really not sure what antimatter has to do with anything.
Also, "a few billion". I mean, it's possible there's been a massive population explosion, but... well, that sounds a little... bigger... than just blowing up most of Australia, even done in both timelines. What don't we know? (Everything)
Given the in-depth knowledge of Etamnanki and resources needed, I feel like if I go down this route I'll be attempting to herd some seriously catty chess-players. edit delete reply
Arbiter: The antimatter is the biggest fly in the ointment for me. Obviously we can’t generate enough of it ourselves, and it’s extremely scarce in nature, so would we have to get it from other universes or something? Why do we need it anyway, and how the hell do we store it? If there’s enough of it, then it has the potential to kill a substantial number of people anyway. edit delete reply
SansTheComic: at first glance, this seems to support my etamnanki theory, but i'm being wary of confirmation bias. edit delete reply
SansTheComic: only one thing to do when you're in a hole.
dig faster and try to get to China.

/setalias --alias="Philomath"
/message OITHEOI my reference was more alluding to the fact that it's not widely known than trying to imply that it was with ill intentions, but that's beside the point.
/message OITHEOI i want to know what you're trying to do, and why you think it's the right thing to do.
/message OITHEOI convince me, and i'll join your team. that's all.
/message __RSPTN__ sure, whatever.
/message __RSPTN__ given i have literally no way to filter the truth from the lies, misdirections and deceptions, i'm going to take that with more than a grain of salt.
/message __RSPTN__ anyway, intentionally or not, you dodged my question.
/message __RSPTN__ what is your end goal? i'm not going to try to sabotage you, i just want to know if joining your team is the right thing to do.
/message ThatOneVampChick sure, go right ahead.
/message ThatOneVampChick mind control someone who knows mind control (allegedly) exists and knows what failsafe means.
/message ThatOneVampChick seriously, try it. i've never gotten to properly test it.
/message MrE someone who just realised they could try to find out which side they should be on.
/message GodsOfOlympus the alias was more for decoration anyway.
/message GodsOfOlympus i'm not actually interested in the real meaning; through my cynicism lenses, it's going to be something like 'the greek pantheon'.
/message GodsOfOlympus if you want allies, explain to me what you're doing and why you think it's the right thing to do. *then* i'll help you.
/message Xenocartographer God murdered thousands of innocent children in Egypt.
/message Xenocartographer God flooded the planet, killing practically everyone.
/message Xenocartographer God tolerates the torturing of a large proportion of the world's population for eternity. for comparison, people have gone insane after a month.
/message Xenocartographer i don't want to worship a God who isn't benevolent. edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: BEEN NICE KNOWING YOU! edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: That said, looking forward to the science results of trying to mess with someone with mind control powers. edit delete reply
Arbiter: (Megalovania intensifies.) edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: His first name is Androcles ?!
So many greek references gosh, between this and... All the Gods

I'm intrigued by the idea of Gods seeking allies...

I'm also curious if Vampire can mind control us, that'd be funny

And gosh, "dead-end timeline where everyone I care about is dead" "there's nothing left for me here" I feel so bad for PannyCake...
-snerk- Irradiated koalas tho bwahhaha edit delete reply
Arbiter: Whether or not Vampire can mind-control Sans has the potential to tell us a lot, not just about her abilities, but about our own existence within the setting. Sans, you’ve got to keep antagonizing her! For science! edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Yes!! For SCIENCE!!
I'm sure there's some kinda limit, like I'm sure she can't control someone on the other side of the planet
But where are we

Also love how every single chess club member went running to Gods to tattle on you Sans edit delete reply
SansTheComic: i feel like i should be insulted that you guys want to use me as a guinea pig for getting mindwhammied. :p edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: You did ask for it tho. GLHF! edit delete reply
Pixelknight: Woaah. This archive truly is something different. So much fourth-wall breaking.

On a sidenote: HELLO! I am Pixelknight! And i've recently read everything! That's all. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: It's all Dellis's fault for that first PM to Vampire. :) Glad to have you, and have fun!! edit delete reply