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Updates Wednesday and Saturday at 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]
(01:28)Admiral Pancake: Report.
(01:34)zygoteconspirator: The station's a total loss, but it looks like the computer core survived re-entry. We're not quite out of the game yet.
(01:34)Admiral Pancake: That's something.
(01:34)bouncyconspirator: The computer core is intact. My personality matrix would be offline otherwise.
(01:35)Admiral Pancake: Acknowledged. So we've got some of the virtual conspirators. Did anyone... physical make it?
(01:35)zygoteconspirator: Well, me. We'll have to trawl the debris for anyone outside of the pod.
(01:35)System: User pwnz1ng is joining #griddle-lifepod-2.
(??:??)pwnz1ng: what jsut happened
(??:??)pwnz1ng: mw and pwnz2 lost our connection 2 ur timeline...
(01:36)Admiral Pancake: Sonja destroyed the Griddle.
(??:??)pwnz1ng: rip
(01:36)Admiral Pancake: We lost most of our people. The pod only had room for four. We needed wildfireconspirator to fly the pod and zygote to babysit the core.
(01:36)Admiral Pancake: Other than that, it's me, Mattie, and the virtuals. Plus you and pwnz2.
(01:36)Admiral Pancake: Assuming he can reconnect. I don't want to think about what suddenly moving the core would do to it.
(??:??)pwnz1ng: uhm
(??:??)pwnz1ng: you... did have more pods right
(01:37)Admiral Pancake: She destroyed them.
(??:??)pwnz1ng: sonja?
(01:38)Admiral Pancake: Yes.
(01:38)Admiral Pancake: She left me this one as part of some... spiteful revenge plot. She even said as much.
(??:??)pwnz1ng: wow
(01:39)wildfireconspirator: This is zygote. I'm at the helm. Wildfire's dead. It looks like part of the cockpit impaled him during the landing...
(01:40)Admiral Pancake: Good God.
(01:40)Admiral Pancake: Is there any realistic chance that others might have made it on the larger debris chunks?
(01:40)wildfireconspirator: Sec, switching accounts.
(01:41)zygoteconspirator: Not really.
(01:42)Admiral Pancake: That... explains why the landing was so rough, at least. We should still check... if nothing else to make sure no one else finds anything first.
(??:??)pwnz1ng: where's silent
(01:43)Admiral Pancake: [censored]. AFK.
(??:??)pwnz1ng: she was on the pod, right
(01:44)zygoteconspirator: Yes, but there are separate compartments per person. In the event of hull breach...
(??:??)pwnz1ng: got it
(??:??)pwnz1ng: this doesn't look good
(01:45)zygoteconspirator: Sir, what's your status?
(??:??)pwnz1ng: uh, pancake...
(01:49)Admiral Pancake: God dammit.
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[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Arbiter: Holy shit, Sonja’s racking up a body count. As much as I hate Pancake and his minions, this is genuinely quite upsetting to read. I’d actually be kind of sad if Silent turns out to be dead. Sure, she and Pancake are terrible people, but so are Theo, Karl, Vampire, and Rasputin, and they all at least get to be happy together! Although I guess Raspy’s going to die soon too, and Karl’s double-crossing Theo... The S.S. Xenocartographer seems to have her cannons of canon trained on the Chess Club’s entire fleet. :( edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Haha, that last sentence had me snerking to hell and back. Well played, you fucking traitor. edit delete reply
Arbiter: Way to create compelling characters that the reader quickly becomes invested in, you evil tyrant. :P edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: cruelest mapmaker edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: "My readers fall in love with every character I've written / And then I kill them / and they're all like 'No he didn't!'"
~ George R. R. Martin, Epic Rap Battles of History edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Oh! But! Karl "betraying" Theo is part of a plot (by Theo) to get Duckbot Etamnanki access by way of the Griddle's core, so it's not quite as bad as it seems. edit delete reply
Arbiter: What's this? Xenocartographer freely revealing plot information? Without even being asked? Did Delta take over your account and start impersonating you too? edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: I... I think this has come up already? I may have gotten myself confused, I guess. ;^; edit delete reply
Ravencorp: Hold on, hold on. Pancakes space station is called "the Griddle"? Thats just amazing. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Was called the Griddle, and yes. edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: YOU KILLED SILENT?!?!

Oh fuck dude, I actually feel really bad for Pancake even though I shouldn't... edit delete reply
RavenZeroak: Is this actual confirmation then Silent is dead and not just afk/fainted? edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: [7:53:57 PM] Xenocartographer: Page up! It makes you call me cruel.

DAMN RIGHT edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: /message __RSPTN__ Big news! Pancake lost all but one of his minions in the crash (the ones from the Griddle, anyways). But, he also lost his dear Mattie... I think he'll be on the warpath, best keep some distance for a bit.D:


/message SonjaOfTheMoon H-hey, Pancake survived! B-but, uhm, Silent didn't make it... Be careful, okay? I fear Pancake will be doubly out for blood now... edit delete reply
Arbiter: Aren't you calling it a bit early with those PMs? I mean, we don't know Silent is dead, just that Pancake was upset by what he found when he went to check on her. Perhaps she's alive, but badly injured, or missing.
Or maybe that's just what I'm telling myself to make me feel less sad about the death of a verifiably evil person. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Nah, she's dead. edit delete reply
Arbiter: ...Oh. Well, hehe, g-good riddance, right? I mean, sh-she was evil anyway. One less v-villain to deal with.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some onions to chop while I practice making loud sobbing noises for a play I'm in. Also, there's something in my eye, and my face is sweating a lot because it's a hot day. edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Hahaha!

Poor Silent, she really was the nicer of the two... Without his Sort-Of-Shoulder-Angel, I think Panny cake is gonna go off the deep end D: edit delete reply
SansTheComic: now i'm predicting that silent dying makes Pancake go on a Roaring Rampage of Revenge, and i think it might even be justified. edit delete reply
Little Guy: LOVE up, boys.

Boom. edit delete reply
argylefox: I'm hoping it doesn't. I like it when the big bads do something not completely evil when you are expecting them to. edit delete reply
Steve the Mew hunter: Wow... all of this is terrible... It almost makes me feel bad about the rabbit hole I'm digging. edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: [5:41:53 PM] Seabiscuit: Oh, gosh
[5:42:01 PM] Seabiscuit: what would silent and pancakes last words to each other have been?
[5:42:19 PM] Xenocartographer: becky no edit delete reply