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Updates Wednesday/Saturday, 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]

(07:13)System: User MrE is initiating a private chat.
(07:13)MrE: Good morning!
(07:13)ItsDuckKingKarl: Good morning
(07:13)ItsDuckKingKarl: You're up early
(07:14)MrE: Not by my standards...
(07:14)MrE: Is there any tea on this ship?
(07:15)ItsDuckKingKarl: Yes
(07:15)ItsDuckKingKarl: Do you like English breakfast
(07:16)MrE: Did Theo tell you that?
(07:16)ItsDuckKingKarl: No, I just know they have it
(07:17)ItsDuckKingKarl: Anyway
(07:17)ItsDuckKingKarl: Send a PM to "services galley"
(07:17)ItsDuckKingKarl: It's JSON but if you just send {} that'll show you the help system
(07:20)MrE: Thank you, I've placed an order. By the way, I don't think I caught your name.
(07:20)ItsDuckKingKarl: Karl
(07:22)MrE: Oh, I see.
(07:22)MrE: You know, this is truly an amazing piece of technology you've got here.
/message OITHEOI Kouri's asking about the neural link
/message OITHEOI How much should I tell him
System: Incoming private message from user OITHEOI:
(07:24)OITHEOI: Don't give him anything too technical, but I'm not worried about him.
(07:25)ItsDuckKingKarl: Theo actually built the prototypes by adapting diagnostic implants
(07:25)ItsDuckKingKarl: So it's really more that neuroscience is advanced
(07:26)MrE: I see. Sounds like there could be a market opportunity...
(07:27)ItsDuckKingKarl: No
(07:27)ItsDuckKingKarl: It's still got all the normal risks of DNI
(07:28)ItsDuckKingKarl: AFAIK the ship's doctor wants you off it as soon as you're stable
(07:28)ItsDuckKingKarl: (They'll give you a laptop)
(07:29)MrE: Then I suppose I'll have to make the most of my time as a cyborg. Is it possible to send a message off the ship?
/message OITHEOI He wants to talk to someone off the ship
(07:30)MrE: You'll have to forgive me, breakfast has arrived.
System: Incoming private message from user OITHEOI:
(07:30)OITHEOI: To whom?
/message reply Dunno
System: Incoming private message from user OITHEOI:
(07:32)OITHEOI: Hmmph. Alright, tell him yes.
(07:32)ItsDuckKingKarl: Yeah, sure
(07:32)ItsDuckKingKarl: Just log into the normal server
(07:33)ItsDuckKingKarl: I can't promise privacy, though
(07:34)ItsDuckKingKarl: You know how militaries are
(07:34)MrE: That's fine. If I were going to double cross you, I'd hardly do it from within the mark's own sickbay. :P
(07:34)ItsDuckKingKarl: Then go ahead
/message reply I dunno
/message reply I can't think of much that's so important he'd have to do it here unless it was something shady
System: Incoming private message from user OITHEOI:
(07:34)OITHEOI: Run head $(grep MrE /dev/unichat/*) on the ship's server to keep an eye on things. If he tries anything sneaky, kill the channel, or him.
/message reply Ok
/message reply I hope it's not too late
[Unichat log --]

(07:35)System: User MrE is initiating a private chat.
(07:35)metampsychotic: DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): Gosh, we haven't actually seen MrE since page 105. Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're torturing moon girls.
Xenocartographer (Official Note): DNI = "Diagnostic Neural Interface", by the way. It's not important enough for me to bother explaining in canon, but it's basically a (removable) implant that lets a technician interface with a patient's own body systems, getting an in-depth readout of how they're doing.
Seabiscuit: "Wow I had a mental breakdown and fucked pwnz for nothing"

Oh gosh the FEELS!!!

But also this page cracks me up. Theo and Karl thinking he MUST be up to some shady shit, getting the kill switch ready, but then...

Like gosh they didn't even consider he might care about his family gosh
Shows what ruthless jerks they are, haha edit delete reply
Robot (Not): Plot twist! edit delete reply
Arbiter: /message OITHEOI Geez, dude, you’re failing the [censored] out of the Turing test.
/message OITHEOI Did it really not occur to you that the specimen MrE might want to talk to his daughter after he’s been in captivity for so long?
/message OITHEOI I can’t believe you were ready to kill him for that. What is wrong with you?
/message OITHEOI I’m really regretting giving you all that information about Algernon University now, if this is how you interpret human expressions of emotion.
/message OITHEOI Listen, if you do attempt some sort of op at Algernon, and you notice some students shaking, looking around furtively, and possibly making panicked or hesitant vocalizations, they are expressing a human emotion called “fear”.
/message OITHEOI It is a natural, instinctual reaction to being in a situation that one views as potentially dangerous or confusing.
/message OITHEOI If we end up with civilian casualties because whatever [censored]-up algorithms you’ve got inside your head can’t tell the difference between Human Hostility and Human Alarm then I am going to be very Human Disappointed.
/message I swear, every time I start to think you might be even marginally decent you go and pull [censored] like this.
/message OITHEOI Take your finger off the kill switch and let the man talk to his daughter, you [censored] psychopath. edit delete reply
Wildcat: Haarsh XD
Theo's going to be like 'where the fuck did you get that information!?' edit delete reply
Wildcat: Though to be fair, it was Karl who couldn't think of any none shady reasons for MrE to want to contact someone outside the ship edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: " Though to be fair, it was Karl who couldn't think of any none shady reasons"

Hahahaah yeah these two sociopaths belong together edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: -snerk-... I wonder how long before he just blocks edit delete reply