#    #    #   #    ###     ###     #    #      ##     ##### 
#    #    ##  #     #     #   #    #    #     #  #      #   
#    #    # # #     #     #        ######    ######     #   
#    #    #  ##     #     #   #    #    #    #    #     #   
 ####     #   #    ###     ###     #    #    #    #     #   
[Unichat log --]
/setalias --alias="Juss Wondrin"
(13:25)System: Alias set. Note that users of moderator rank or above may bypass your alias.
/plugin on @FRWL-MT-SLGHMR --channel=neural-link-1345
/join #neural-link-1345
(13:12)System: Now joining #neural-link-1345.
/log encrypt --stealth
(13:12)System: The log for #neural-link-1345 is being encrypted with Padlock's public key. Stealth mode: suppressing this message from everyone besides you and server ops.
(13:12)Padlock: So, uh... is your name a play on "Mystery" or "Meal Ready to Eat"?
(13:12)MrE: Oh, very perceptive! Definitely the former, but I've spent enough time in the army to be amused by the latter. May I ask who you are?
(13:13)ItsDuckKingKarl: I was wondering the same thing
(13:14)Padlock: Oh, no one in particular!
/log no-encrypt --stealth
(13:14)System: Further messages in this channel are no longer being encrypted. Stealth mode: suppressing this message from everyone besides you and server ops.
[Unichat log --]
/join #vague-omniscience-council
(13:16)System: Now joining #vague-omniscience-council.
(13:16)Padlock: Well, Operation Say Hi To MrE ended with me panicking so badly I disconnected.
(13:16)Arbiter: That's not good...
(13:16)Padlock: I should have realized Karl would be there. I don't think they ID'd me or anything, but still...
(??:??)Xenocartographer: Maximize information throughput.
(13:17)Padlock: Huh?
(??:??)Xenocartographer: Debugging. Thoughts complicated. Wrong reality.
(13:18)Padlock: Uh, okay...
(13:18)Mini_coopa2: Is he okay?
(13:18)Arbiter: It happens from time to time. No one really knows what his deal is :/
(13:18)Arbiter: He just lets this channel exist in whatever weird trans-universal space it exists in.
(13:18)Arbiter: Are you still going to talk to UR?
(13:19)Padlock: Yeah, in a bit.
[Unichat log --]
/setalias --alias="One past, one future"
(13:25)System: Alias set. Note that users of moderator rank or above may bypass your alias.
/message Unum_Relicuum I've heard great things about your organization. Can I join?

(13:26)System: User Unum_Relicuum is initiating a private chat.
(13:26)Unum_Relicuum: You hear it too, huh?
(13:27)Padlock: The whispers of the apocalypse rising from the ashes? Yeah.
(13:27)Unum_Relicuum: :)
(13:28)Unum_Relicuum: Purely as a matter of curiosity, where did you hear that phrasing?
(13:28)Padlock: I don't know. It came to me in a dream, I think.
(13:28)Unum_Relicuum: Interesting...
(13:30)Unum_Relicuum: As Fate would have it, you're not the first person of late to demonstrate advance knowledge of our organization's inner workings despite a lack of previous contact. Is Gaia relaying information somehow, or do we have the causality backwards? Either option is troubling.
(13:30)Padlock: Truly, we live in interesting times.
(13:31)Unum_Relicuum: Well said. I wonder if even our accelerated timetables will prove fast enough.
(13:31)Padlock: ?
(13:31)Unum_Relicuum: Never mind. So, you've heard good things?
(13:33)Padlock: Well, I've always liked the idea of nuking infidels, and your opposition to Orlov's practices is pretty cool.
(13:34)Unum_Relicuum: I'm afraid that resistance isn't as unified as it may seem. Many of the faithful have been taken in by his promises of comfort. The harshness of Russian winters did provide an obvious vector for recruitment, but he is subtle.
(13:34)Padlock: :(
(13:35)Padlock: I've also heard something about... well, this is another thing half-remembered from a dream, so forgive me if I'm talking nonsense, but "shatterpoints"?
(12:38)Unum_Relicuum: How much do you know about them?
(12:38)Padlock: Not much. As I said, the word came to me in a dream. It keeps coming, but never any clearer.
(12:38)Unum_Relicuum: Hm...
(12:38)Unum_Relicuum: We must delve into this. If you truly hear as you say, I have reason to be disturbed.
(12:38)Unum_Relicuum: Is there anything they seem to be associated with? A color, perhaps, or a smell?
/message Seabiscuit I'm talking to UR about shatterpoints and I'm not sure she's buying it. I'm going to try making [censored] up. If you see this and can get back to me with any pointers, that would be great.
(12:39)Padlock: No, not particularly. I guess it's often followed by an image of large-scale destruction, but that's what most of the dreams are like anyway.
(12:39)Unum_Relicuum: How large-scale?
System: Incoming private message from user Seabiscuit:
(12:39)Seabiscuit: I've been trying to get info about those, too D: I dunno, trust your gut! If a silly dork of a biscuit can win her trust, I'm sure you'll do fine.
(12:41)Padlock: Cosmic scale. The end of the world.
(12:42)System: Unum_Relicuum invited active user __RSPTN__ to join this anonymous channel.
(12:42)System: Unum_Relicuum invited active user Seabiscuit to join this anonymous channel.
(12:42)Unum_Relicuum: I'm afraid this is something we must discuss more closely.
System: Incoming private message from user Seabiscuit:
(12:42)Seabiscuit: woah it you
/message reply Yeah... Hang on, I'm going to see if I can get some of this intel out, in case something bad happens to either of us. Let's see if dream!Sonja's hacks still work...
/plugin @ip-tracer --user=Unum_Relicuum
/setalias --alias="Good Samaritan"
/message BBC_Official I have an anonymous tip on the potential location of Unum_Relicuum.
/message BBC_Official--file=@ip-tracer.log
Leave a comment
[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Arbiter: Well, I really want to see how this conversation goes.
At the very least, I'll get to see the records for tealest page in Unichat and bluest page in Unichat broken at the same time. edit delete reply
Nanedex: I've got a feeling that anonymous tip is going to backfire.. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Oh my gosh, I totally missed this comment among the blue spam. Hello, person! edit delete reply
Padlock: "No one in-particular"? Juss Wondrin was more than that, Juss was a family man struggling to keep his father's bakery business afloat, while balancing time with his kids after he lost his wife to a bakery-truck related accident that he blames himself for (if only he had remembered the parking breaks). Juss was a fan of classical music, a supporter of his local school sports team, and he loved asking random questions to strangers on ultra secure neural-link servers. To me: Juss was very much, someone in-particular.
I think I went a little too far with my alias' backstory... edit delete reply
Arbiter: I'll never forget the day I met Juss.
I had flown in to New York City to visit a distant relative of mine, Auntie Edna. She was in the hospital, leukemia, the doctors said she only had a couple of months left to live. My family was already there, staying at a hotel a couple of blocks away from the hospital, but I wasn't able to fly up with them. The boss was riding me at work, you know how it is.
So I had to fly up a couple of days later, all by myself. I knew the address to the hospital, and I figured I'd be able to get there myself once I was in New York.
Of course, New York was much bigger than I'd expected. I should have known better, I could barely find my way around Toronto. How was I ever going to navigate New York? After a few hours of what was supposed to be a twenty minute trip, I realized I was hopelessly lost.
It was a rough neighbourhood too, and of course my phone was dead. I won't lie, I was scared. I was just a clueless Canadian kid lost in an unfamiliar city. But more than scared, I was hungry. My flight had left early in the morning, and I hadn't eaten all day.
I wandered that dirty street for Azazoth knows how long, and I'd almost given up hope when I finally smelled it. The delicious aroma of fresh pastry. I rounded a corner and there it was, the source of the delicious smell, looking like a beacon of light amongst the drab buildings. "Wondrin's Bakery: Family-Owned Since 1933".
To a starving man, the bakery was paradise. Donuts, cookies, cakes, pastries of all kinds on display, looking amazing and smelling even better. As I stared in awe at the heavenly sight before me, I heard a voice behind the counter say, "Hello, young man. What can I do for you?"
I turned to address the owner of the voice. He was a tall man, balding, with a magnificent bushy mustache. He couldn't have been older than forty, but his hair was already mostly grey, a byproduct of a life full of hardship. I could see it in his eyes, his life had been full of more worries than most, but mixed with the sadness I could see a deep kindness more sincere than ever I had seen in my entire life. He wore an old but well-maintained uniform emblazoned with the bakery's name, a white apron, and a nametag which read "Juss."
"What's your name, lad?" he said with a smile. "You don't look like you're from around here."
"Arbiter," I replied, "and no, I'm not. I'm trying to get to St. Lovecraft's Hospital, do you know where it is?"
"Well, you're a bit off-course, I'd say," he chuckled, "but I'd be happy to draw you a quick map if you want."
He took a napkin and scribbled on it in pen, then handed it to me. For such a quick sketch of the area, it was surprisingly detailed and readable.
"Wow, thank you so much," I replied. "I'm also really hungry, I don't suppose I could get a dozen donuts for the road?"
"Oh absolutely! I'll ring you up right now."
I tried to pay for the donuts with my debit card, but it got declined. "Insufficient funds." That was weird. I tried it again and again, but still no luck. (I later found out that my bank account had been drained by someone who'd managed to steal my identity after I attempted to make an ill-advised Internet purchase of the 2007 cinematic masterpiece Hot Fuzz, but that's a story for another day.)
I didn't have any cash on me, and my heart sank as I realized that I would have to forego those heavenly donuts after all.
"I'm sorry," I said, "it doesn't look like I'll be able to pay for those donuts."
"Hey, it's okay, consider it my treat," Juss replied.
"What, really?"
"Yeah, Christine always said, 'Never turn away a stranger in need,'" he said, staring wistfully at a framed photograph on the opposite wall. The picture was of himself in an elegant tuxedo, at least a decade younger, standing beside a beautiful young woman in a white wedding gown. They looked so happy.
Juss snapped out of his reverie. "Yeah, don't worry about it. You look like you need these donuts more than I need your money anyway. But before you leave, I do have a question to ask you."
"Sure, what is it?"
"So, uh..." said Juss Wondrin, "is your name a reference to Halo or the ship from StarCraft?" edit delete reply
SansTheComic: ... wow. just wow. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Arbiter seems to have decent taste in things, so I'm going to go with Starcraft. edit delete reply
Padlock: There is only one way out of a lie: lie more.
Unum; Gaia does not speak to - but through, me! They have told me that I have been chosen as their prophet! I am their herald of the endtimes!
If they don't believe me; just spout quotes from the story of Cassandra, that feels like something I'd do... edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: "There is only one way out of a lie: lie more. "

-snerk- You are wise~ edit delete reply
SansTheComic: hmm. end on a cliffhanger? this seems like it can't end well...
anyway, i can't wait to post my reply to meta. hopefully i don't screw it up. edit delete reply
Padlock: Um, shouldn't the messages sent under an alias be displayed as under that alias' name, and not mine? edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: In-universe, the message showed up with your alias' names. The readers have the same privileged view that moderators do (which is why you can see /encrypt-ed logs), and mods don't see aliases by default. edit delete reply
Mini_coopa2: only privilidged view so we cant ip ban space panak to slow down his plans? edit delete reply
Mini_coopa2: I SWEAR IF FAKE-ME HAS A BETTER TEXT COLOUR. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: That's correct. edit delete reply
Unichat © Patrick Coffman | Hosted on ComicFury