#    #    #   #    ###     ###     #    #      ##     ##### 
#    #    ##  #     #     #   #    #    #     #  #      #   
#    #    # # #     #     #        ######    ######     #   
#    #    #  ##     #     #   #    #    #    #    #     #   
 ####     #   #    ###     ###     #    #    #    #     #   
Updates Wednesday and Saturday at 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]
(10:09)metampsychotic: okay
(10:09)metampsychotic: so
(10:10)metampsychotic: the first thing you need to know about my dad is he tried to take over the world
(10:13)pwnz0rz: uhm
(10:13)pwnz0rz: ok
(10:13)pwnz0rz: sure
(10:14)metampsychotic: no, really! he had like... four shadow companies active in a bunch of countries
(10:14)metampsychotic: all completely legal, i promise :P
(10:14)pwnz0rz: u've alluded to that before...
(10:14)metampsychotic: yeah, it's not something i make much of a secret of
(10:15)metampsychotic: i mean, if you google our name, articles about it come right up
(10:15)metampsychotic: not IMMEDIATELY, but it's not exactly hard to find
(10:15)pwnz0rz: that sure does seem like a flaw in world domination plans
(10:16)pwnz0rz: "ok general i think i've got a handle on who this supervillain is" "how?" "internet"
(10:18)metampsychotic: my dad's not a villain
(10:18)pwnz0rz: well ok
(10:19)pwnz0rz: but uhm
(10:20)pwnz0rz: i guess i got a little carried away with the joke there
(10:20)metampsychotic: :(
(10:20)metampsychotic: he wanted to make the world a better place
(10:20)metampsychotic: how does that make him a bad guy?
(10:21)metampsychotic: there's so much terrible [censored] out there...
(10:22)metampsychotic: he had money and a conscience. what other choice was there?
(10:23)pwnz0rz: well
(10:23)pwnz0rz: hang on
(10:24)pwnz0rz: didnt you say he tried to take over the world?
(10:24)metampsychotic: yeah
(10:24)metampsychotic: i guess that's a kind of silly way of putting it
(10:24)metampsychotic: he tried to use his business connections to fight corruption from the inside, if that makes sense
(10:25)pwnz0rz: im not sure i follow
(10:26)metampsychotic: oh, well
(10:26)metampsychotic: corrupt politicians do things if you pay them
(10:27)pwnz0rz: did he pay the corrupt politician to be less corrupt?
(10:27)metampsychotic: sort of! he'd fund anti-corruption initiatives, and then pay off moderately corrupt people to sell out the really corrupt ones
(10:27)metampsychotic: stuff like that
(10:28)pwnz0rz: dude
(10:28)pwnz0rz: meta
(10:28)pwnz0rz: no jugement or whatever, but this is the first i've ever heard about this
(10:28)pwnz0rz: judgement*
(10:28)pwnz0rz: actually idk if thats right but
(10:29)metampsychotic: well
(10:30)metampsychotic: i mean
(10:30)metampsychotic: the information's out there, but it's not like we want to draw attention to it
(10:31)metampsychotic: but i guess death threats aren't so much of a concern now :/
*(10:31)pwnz0rz hug?*
(10:32)metampsychotic: ineed am omemement
(10:32)pwnz0rz: go for it
(10:39)metampsychotic: okay
(10:40)metampsychotic: when i was a little girl
(10:40)metampsychotic: ...i mean it was 15 years ago, i was in elementary school
(10:41)metampsychotic: him and mom had a fight
(10:41)metampsychotic: they don't know i heard
(10:42)metampsychotic: i had a fever and i was supposed to be asleep
(10:42)metampsychotic: but sleep is hard and they were yelling and i was sick and how was i supposed to sleep through that?!
(10:43)metampsychotic: i just wanted it to stop
(10:44)metampsychotic: so i came downstairs to... idk
(10:45)metampsychotic: i wanted to know what they were fighting about
(10:47)metampsychotic: there were guns
(10:47)pwnz0rz: wait
(10:47)pwnz0rz: guns
(10:48)metampsychotic: yes, guns
(10:48)pwnz0rz: as in pew pew murder
(10:49)metampsychotic: :/ yes, guns as in the handheld weapons that project bullets at high velocities into other people's bodies to turn them into corpses and are humorously depicted as making noises like "pew pew"
(10:50)pwnz0rz: your parents pulled guns on each other?
(10:51)metampsychotic: omg no D:
(10:52)metampsychotic: okay i see what you were confused about
(10:52)metampsychotic: but you're jumping the gun a little bit
(10:53)pwnz0rz: ive trained you well
(10:53)metampsychotic: i've never not liked puns
(10:53)metampsychotic: but i've never liked guns and... you know eugene panak?
(10:54)pwnz0rz: the admiral pancake guy? yeah
(10:55)pwnz0rz: he messages me weird things sometimes, about time travel and other wtf
(10:56)pwnz0rz: :/
(10:57)metampsychotic: oh
(10:57)metampsychotic: well
(10:58)metampsychotic: he had a gun
(11:00)pwnz0rz: wtf was pancaek in ur horse for
(11:01)pwnz0rz: house*
(11:01)pwnz0rz: not horse
(11:01)pwnz0rz: being isnide a horse is a very diffferent kind of thing
(11:02)pwnz0rz: but like
(11:02)pwnz0rz: why
(11:03)metampsychotic: uhm
(11:04)metampsychotic: i'm not sure...
(11:04)metampsychotic: he was pointing a gun at someone though
(11:04)metampsychotic: i couldn't really make them out
(11:04)metampsychotic: they were dressed like old-school korean, but were definitely white, and had an eyepatch
(11:05)metampsychotic: very distinctive
(11:05)metampsychotic: and they had a gun pointed at panak
(11:06)metampsychotic: tbh i almost wrote it off as a fever dream
(11:07)metampsychotic: but you know how i was home from school that day?
(11:07)pwnz0rz: yeah
(11:08)metampsychotic: just an hour later, a teacher was arrested on terrorism charges
(11:09)pwnz0rz: ...terrosism like gaia???
(11:10)metampsychotic: i don't know
(11:10)metampsychotic: i was very young
(11:11)metampsychotic: and no one told us kids what was going on
(11:12)metampsychotic: by the time i was old enough to investigate myself, all the details had been covered up
(11:13)metampsychotic: but it's... i dunno
(11:14)metampsychotic: i'm not saying panak made me sick to keep me safe or whatever
(11:14)metampsychotic: but it feels like a lot of a coincidence, all that stuff happening on the same day!
(11:14)pwnz0rz: what even is with random people and being terrorist
(11:14)pwnz0rz: im sure you remember will
(11:14)metampsychotic: gosh, i think my friend's roommate being unum relicum is pretty easy to remember!
(11:15)pwnz0rz: yeah
(11:15)pwnz0rz: thats why i asked if it was gaia stuff
(11:16)metampsychotic: heh
(11:17)metampsychotic: yeah, maybe, and it certainly sounds plausible, but as i said, it was years before i knew enough to look into it more
(11:18)metampsychotic: but, luke
(11:18)metampsychotic: i'm not hiding because i'm sad
(11:19)metampsychotic: i mean... that's part of it
(11:19)metampsychotic: but i'm also hiding because...
(11:21)pwnz0rz: erica?
(11:25)metampsychotic: what if i'm next?
Leave a comment
[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): Apologies (not really) for the page title, and (not really) for ruining meta's life.
Arbiter: So that's how MrE almost took over the world! I'd been wondering about that for a really long time!
Meta's story is kind of confusing. She heard her parents arguing, so she went downstairs and found... Panak in her house? Pointing a gun at some other dude? Had he been there the whole time, or did he just get there? Where were her parents? Were they with Eugene, or were they elsewhere? Were they still fighting? Obviously meta doesn't remember a lot of the details herself, but the whole event is... odd.
A lot of elements of this story remind me of things that happened elsewhere in Unichat, too. The teacher's arrest on terrorism charges is obviously supposed to bring pwnz's roommate to mind, but a teacher getting charged with a crime? With Pancake likely having been involved? That reminds me of bloodshoes. And the guy Pancake was pointing the gun at seems very distinctive, but in a familiar way. He's white, but wearing traditional Korean garb, and he has an eyepatch. In other words, he's been associated with two different ethnic groups and has likely experienced some sort of major injury. How was bobtheconspirator described? "Chinese-Nigerian, has a limp in his right leg". Maybe it's just a coincidence, but these two unusual-looking fellows remind me of each other. Could this guy be a conspirator as well, perhaps a rogue agent of some description? edit delete reply
Arbiter: PS I have a feeling this guy will be important later, so I think we should give him a nickname. He's a white dude who wears traditional Korean clothes and his eyepatch reminds me of a pirate, so I vote we call him "Captain Koreaboo." edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Captain Koreaboo.


Padlock: /join #Couples-Counseling
/setalias --alias="Councilor"
/invite OITHEOI, _RSPTN_, AdmiralPancake
Well, well, well... I hear you three haven't been getting along very well together, let's talk about that. Now, remember; this is a safe place free of judgement. Which one of you would like to start?
/mood *Patiently waiting with a face full of concern, and hope, for the future of this relationship.*
Panak, these chatlogs clearly show a lot of hostility towards your friends; before reprimanding a subordinate, why don't you try putting yourself in their shoes - what could be the reason for their failure, perhaps you're working them too hard? Go a little easier on your conspirators, you'll see that a little encouragement goes a long way!
And _RSPTN_ your power-struggle relationship with ThatOneVampChick isn't healthy for either of you. You both should sit down and have a serious discussion about the potential strain that it is putting on the two of you. Open a line of honest emotional communication between both of you and really speak what your hearts are saying.
Theodore, your superior attitude towards others is a real problem - you have to stop pushing people away when you feel you've lost control, let go of control and live freely. You may think you don't need anyone, but everyone needs someone, even Panak has SilentConspirator... who do you have?
I'm sorry, but were all out of time for this session. I think we all have some thing to work on for next time. Let's try to close those gaps between you and fix this beautiful relationship together, OK? Good luck you three!
/mood *Gives a warm smile and walks you out.*
^D edit delete reply
Arbiter: XD This is absolutely hilarious. You've probably put yourself on the entire Chess Club's radar as a serious potential threat now, but reading this I'm tempted to say it was worth it. edit delete reply
Wildcat: This is so defintely worth it. So worth it. Troll the Chess Club for the win.
You know I've been tempted to use the name "WeAreArmy" and start sending Pancake vaguely threatening messages involving pancake puns. edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: -SNERK-

Xenomap if you don't let this happen I will hit you hard
edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: "(10:15)pwnz0rz: that sure does seem like a flaw in world domination plans
(10:16)pwnz0rz: "ok general i think i've got a handle on who this supervillain is" "how?" "internet""


Gosh, so THAT'S what MrE's plan was... It should have worked. Gosh. I wish MrE had won, I feel like he's the best of the chess club... Too bad he gave up. Will we find out why he retired, I wonder?~

And, gosh!! Mystery fellow... With an EYEPATCH! That's how you know he meant business. I wonder if Pancake was sided with MrE in that situation? Hm. edit delete reply
((Delta)): /join #The-Tea-Room
/users --channel=The-Tea-Room
System: Users in #The-Tea-Room:
The Templar (ALIAS)
The Inquisitor (ALIAS)
The Executor (ALIAS) (AWAY)
Arbiter (PENDING)
The Cavalry (ALIAS) (PENDING)
Unum_Relicuum (PENDING)
/status away; mood Heating-The-Kettle edit delete reply
Arbiter: /join #The-Tea-Room
Yet another shadowy figure invites me to some secret corner of the web for a little Unichitchat. Everyone and their pet ostrich is acting so cloak and dagger all the time.
This better not be sketchy.
Hoo boy, that memberlist. Unum-we-finally-figured-out-how-Latin-works-Relicuum? And some folks calling themselves "The Templar", "The Inquisitor", and "The Executor"?
What kind of nicknames are those? Is this some sort of weird-[censored] game of D&D?
Games night with international terrorists!
Nyarlathotep's tentacley [censored], you try to illegally download Hot Fuzz one freaking time and this is the kind of thing you end up getting invited to!
This had better not be an attempt to convert me to Gaia. If I'm gonna deal with... that, it's gotta be directly from the source.
That's what in-universe Arby would say. Real-life Arby can't wait to find out what this is about. edit delete reply
((Delta)): /message Arbiter Gaia? What makes you think we are inviting you to join them? I do hope you accept our offer; "The Judge" does have a nice ring to it.
P.S. Games night starts 8 PM at Templar's house. edit delete reply
Arbiter: /message ((Delta)) Well, Unum_Relicuum was invited, which makes me think this has something to do with Gaia. That guy doesn't really strike me as the type to have many hobbies outside of indoctrinating people, blowing stuff up, reading a Latin-English dictionary, and being blue.
/message ((Delta)) But "The Judge" is a pretty dope-sounding name, and it certainly matches the theme of dark justice that Quizi and Ex over there seem to be setting up...
/message ((Delta)) (Can I call them that? "The Inquisitor" and "The Executor" are too long to type every time.)
/message ((Delta)) I'll admit, I'm curious. What exactly is this for, if not to convert me to Gaia? edit delete reply
((Delta)): /message Arbiter To keep my friends close, and enemies closer. edit delete reply
SansOfTheUnderground: so... i'm not too sure what i can do. my role was mainly to question GOO a bit to try and get endsoftime back, but it's done and i don't think pushing him a bit more would have any benefits. you guys seem to be covering all the important bases right now. any ideas on what else i could help with? edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Whatever you feel like, yeah?:D Maybe you could pester a non chess club member? I don't think anyones PMed the likes of say, Pwnz yet... No ones tried to make allies with Vamp either~ edit delete reply
Padlock: /setalias --alias="One past, one future"
/message Unum_Relicuum I've heard great things about your organization. Can I join?
/plugin @ip-tracer
/plugin on Unum_Relicuum
/setalias --alias="Good Samaritan"
/message BBC_Official I have an anonymous tip on the potential location of Unum_Relicuum.
/message --file=@ip-tracer.log BBC_Official edit delete reply
((Delta)): /message Padlock You should not have interfered... edit delete reply